Life of A cooking bachelor

Returning to blogging?

2011-07-13T11:56:00.000-07:00

Hey there people.

I am sorry, for taking such a long break. 1 year and 4 months to be exact to concentrate on my career.

This period of time have been interesting. My outlook change, my views on life in general, and love also.

I am probably returning soon.

I am back!

.

2010-03-15T00:59:00.000-07:00

I wonder if I would ever be able to express my feelings in words.

I remember that I had two friends, who at some point in their lives, had a bad breakup. They were constantly in agony. I asked them, if the relationship was worth it, as the other party wasn't worth their agony. Their reply was that even if your heart was broken at this time, they rather have their heart broken, and loved before, than never to know love at all. I finally understand what they were talking about today.

I always felt that I was a guy who is able to keep his own emotions in check, the one was is constantly "steady". I was wrong after all, as I am still only human. The agony, is hard to tolerate for long. The worst part of everything that went wrong is perhaps the most tragic reason of all. There wasn't any reason, nor quarrels. At the end of the day, if it ended, I wouldn't mind, if that I had a reason. Now, there will forever be a part of me left empty, as there isn't any closure. Maybe one day it will fill up slowly, but markings will forever be there.

If the relationship ended with one of us hating another, perhaps the pain would be easier to tolerate. It ended, with only sadness now, and sadness it would forever be.

Thanks for teaching me how to laugh,
Thanks for teaching me how to cry,
Thanks for making me worry hard,
and thanks for teaching me about love.

Two Tall Tales

2010-03-13T19:09:00.000-08:00

1) About a cross dresser who literally falls in love with his own image as a girl

2) About a world where the remaining days of your lives can be purchased or sold on the market like gold.

Slum

2010-03-07T22:16:00.000-08:00

I need to get out of the slum asap. Life has been strange these few days, a cocktail of cigs, liquor, work, exercise to occupy my time to the brim. I can't stand being alone for extended period of life unlike the past.

My body is almost at it's limit at the way I am pushing it.

Thank god for friends, or Allah, or Buddha or whomever up there.

I am actually looking forward to the start of my work.

She is gone.

2010-03-03T04:14:00.000-08:00

She's gone,
Out of my life.
I was wrong,
I can't live without her love.
In my life
There's just an empty space.
All my dreams are lost.

Boobs ARE GREAT!

2010-01-25T05:09:00.001-08:00

Recently I and a female friend of mine had an debate that was totally about boobs. Boobs, as far as most men are concerned, were worth the rib that God took from Adam to make Eve. The moment we are born, boobs gives us life! Breast milk! In fact, it is like the most wonderful thing in the universe, and definitely better than playstation 3! Small boobs, medium boobs, big boobs, we love all boobs except for men boobs.

You know, if not for boobs, a lot of people would be jobless? All those plastic surgeons, lingerie models and those huge companies selling lingerie that employs thousand of people like Victoria Secrets etc. They are also the reason for many actresses overwhelming fan support. Do you think we love Megan Fox because she can act? I don’t think so.

One curious point of the debate I have is that why are men so attracted to boobs, they are just lumps of fat on a woman’s chest. Maybe it is because boobs are covered. Maybe if women go around topless and covered their noses instead, the nose would instead become a focal point for men instead of boobs. It would be an interesting concept but I doubt there would be enough women who are deranged enough to test this idea out.

Another curious question of the debate was why do some girls persist in wearing sexily or wanting larger boobs if they hate men staring at them. This is a weird love-hate relationship. They hate it when guys look at them yet they like to wear little. And if a guy doesn’t look, they feel insecure about their own looks. It is actually very complicated to understand women. My friend enlightened me to the reason why would women want bigger boobs. She just asked me, if I would prefer a shorter manhood. Only then I understood why are bigger boobs so important to girls. It is a matter of their pride.

This topic make for interesting discussion people.

Love and Trust

2010-01-22T11:11:00.001-08:00

A very good friend of mine, told me that loving a person, is not expecting the person to love you in return 100% with the same amount of intensity you love him or her. I totally agree with her, but isn’t it fair for you to expect some dividends sometimes, or at least the acknowledgement from your loved ones that they know the effort and sacrifices you are making for them? Personally, I do not think a hug or kiss would be too hard, and that the labors your loved one have done for you, was to just to put another smile on your face.

trust

1. Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.

Trust, in a relationship is something to be debatable. How much should one trust his or her better half? Most people would say if you love a person, you should trust them 100%. I believe that this would be a questionable concept as the more you love a person, the more you would fear losing that person right? Also, many times are not that you do not trust the person, but you do not trust the people around them.

Most guys also hate it if the gf clubs. Even if they say they are fine and it is okay and whatsoever, they just fucking hate it to the core. They just don't want you to ruin your day after you promised your friends you would join them or something. Of course, this is assuming that the guy is normal, I have never seen any guy who doesn't mind at all that his gf is going clubbing and he isn't going. Infact most guys I know can't sleep the entire night if their gf is going to club.

This brings us towards the concept of vultures.

vul•ture As defined by an online dictionary.
.
1. Any of various large birds of prey of the New World family Cathartidae or of the Old World family Accipitridae, characteristically having dark plumage and a featherless head and neck and generally feeding on carrion.
2. A person of a rapacious, predatory, or profiteering nature.

In relationships, I define vultures as son-of-the-bitch assholes. What these son-of-the-bitches do is to hang around your partner and wait for an opportunity to strike. Even when there isn’t any problem with your relationship, they will just try to move in on the pretext of being close friends. They are usually of the male gender, as only males would be this desperate. These bastards should die. Only in one situation would their presence be more tolerable. That is when the BF is a jerk and that the guy who is moving in truly love her with his heart.

In 99% of situations however, is that the guy who is trying to move in is just a fucking cheebye kia who deserves nothing less than groin rot and herpes.

The poor snail

2009-09-03T10:51:00.001-07:00

Today was like any other normal day. I was like my usual normal self, hurrying from one place to another, walking as fast as I could, when I saw many yucky looking mess up pieces of stuff on the floor. Curious, I decided to take a closer look and realized that it was just the remains of a poor snail that some random individual, probably rushing like me, accidentally crushed to death. As I walked the short distance to the MRT station( less than 700 meters), I counted at least 10 crushed snails.

I wonder, if anyone felt any remorse at crushing those poor creatures. You may reach your destination in time, but in doing so, you took a life. Maybe they aren’t important to you as they are snails, and the only snails that are of importance to you are escargots (now I am curious, are the snails you see by the roadside edible like the French snails, or does the snails being French make them higher class, therefore more delicate to the palate?) You must know that the snails didn’t asked to be stomp upon by bumbling giants like us. It probably took them 3 hours to crawl one meter, and somebody had to stamp on them. Can you imagine that it took you 10 years to get promoted to your current position in your company, and suddenly the company just collapse?

Also, please realize the fact that the snails you stepped on…….they have a family also. They are somesnail’s mother, father,, child, brother, sister, friend, or spouse. Each time you crush one, families of snails weep, even their in-laws.

Please do your part and open your eyes wide today, as even though snails have shells, they are fragile creatures. If you have to step on something, you can step on cockroaches instead. Those are much more disgusting and bigger pests.

The Snail

Slow and steady the mighty one moves,
The one who carries his hefty burden,
His house and only comfort, his curse
Moving slower than a crippled terrapin

Without his house he lacks worth,
Looking like his slug friend, Ugly Horace,
Alas, this mighty Hercules, this mighty Titan,
Ended up sadly as ‘Splat’ the flattened one.

I realized that if one have insomnia, they tend to write very silly stuff. Perhaps if you replaced the snails with people's whose emotions were trampled upon to achieve one's goal, it would sound slightly more intelligent.

The day I walked like Michael Jackson.

2009-07-28T07:38:00.000-07:00

You know those kind of days where everything is supposed to go wrong? Today seem to be one of those freaking damn days. First I woke up late, couldn’t go for a jog, and I set 8 alarms. I went for my tuition and it started raining leaving me like a wet chicken.

But the best part is coming soon, I was going to meet a friend of mine to pass her some notes she kindly loaned to me. I was going to be fashionably late, so I had to do things with a sense of urgency, like what Army taught us. At the exact same moment, an urge to go to the gents overcome me also, and between wetting my pants and being late for an extra 2 minutes, I decided to go for the former option. Happily, the first two toilets I went to were going through cleaning at the same time, so I had to go to the top floor.

You can be absolutely sure by the time I relive myself, I was almost pissing my pants. But okay, after doing my business and unzipping my pants, I found out that I couldn’t pull it up at all. I was stupid enough to not unzip everything,, and the belt was still buckled. In my overzealous attempt to not take too long, I started to tug at my zipper, really really hard. And it was a really really stupid idea. I hear a ripping sound and my zipper was unfortunately spoiled.

I tried to repair it in the toilet for 1/2 an hour, and it wasn’t a really pleasant experience. With no progress at all, I had to cancel my appointment with my friend, I just wanted to pass her some notes, not to give her any free shows at all. Had to go home with a book over my crotch like Michael Jackson all the way, and it wasn’t a very fun experience. He did it with style. I walked like a swan on dry land.

I probably flashed a few aunties unconsciously but on the bright side, I wore a pair of nice underwear, I guess.

I am tired

2009-07-18T10:48:00.000-07:00

I am tired, tired of everything, tired of acting the role that I took upon myself. Perhaps it is my own fault, for being one that is naive, for trying to be somebody that I never was.

I did not realized that smiling could be so hard, pretending to smile, while you feel something tore apart inside you. It feels raggard somehow, am I running away cause I am afraid of losing something that is almost as vital to me as air itself? I fear that the hole would become too big and never could be repaired in the future.

FUCK. 24 years of life, and I don't even know myself. If I have to blame, I can only blame myself. I wonder if I fall, how long would it take for me to reach the floor.

How long can I live a lie, I wonder. Would it be, forever?

Random poor attempts at writing lousy poems

2009-06-23T05:16:00.000-07:00

Melodic strains

Dear Babe, How hard I find to describe thee,
The melody of the wind straining through the gaps in your teeth,
Sets my heart ablaze with passionate flame.
Yet I can never look straight,

At yonder your direction,
For it seems that to do so,
Is to commit a Sin greater than hate,
For I am waning of worthiness,

To glimpse upon perfection,
So I will only stand afar,
Hoping once again I may,
Listen to the melodic strains of wind.

Friendship

Tonight a friend leaves for faraway,
A moment to be far too soon,
Alas, there is little to be done,
Less one other to share our sorrows,
Or joy that tickle us to happy tears.

As we share moments with one another.,
Journeys through both joy and sorrow,
The sweet lass smiles lit a thousand hearts,
Setting aflame all our burning hearts,
With her giggles all around!

Fate has brought us together,
Bounded with friends forever in life,
We laugh together all at once,
Wondering now if we can do the same,
When the lady we loved goes away.

There is but little words I now say,
And many more I want to say,
But goodbye is not the word,
As we all know we will always,
Love her passionately all the way.

Hot summer night

I toss and turn this hot summer night,
Weary and alone in my empty bed,
Alas, it is meant to be for me only,
Less one other to share my sorrows,
Or joy that tickle us to happy tears.

Fate has indeed, dealt me a cruel blow,
To be a guy of unique character,
One more different from all others.
I wonder often what makes my head tick,
Being insane, eccentric and slightly sad.

It is hard to express deepest ambitions,
To leave the longest lasting impressions,
For the fairest lady I chanced upon,
To look much less of the fool I am,
I acted like twice the fool I already am.

I soon end this with a tired sigh,
Wondering if I can muster some strength,
As my heart pounds harder than a dozen men’s,
To tell the lady that stolen my heart and breath,
The truth for little difference it would make.

Regrets

Fools kisses by the fountain pool,
As lovers embraces while flowers die.
Would the worthy Amaranth’s steel resolve,
Save it from to unhappy fate.

Why would this small hardy weed,
Stand strong through sleet and grit.
While the fair fabled blue rose,
Sheds beautiful petals and cry?

Once we reach the end of the road,
Will light from the Amaranth,
Or the wilted petals of the blue rose.
Show us what was over or could been?

All of those above stuff was written by Alvin Chua when he was feeling rather bored. And No, he is not emo if you are curious about it.

Fear

2009-06-18T08:23:00.001-07:00

“Fearless does not mean an absence of fear, love can overcome fear”. This quote was taken from an unknown female friend of mine. We were like usual, debating about the weirdness of guys and girls being in a relationship. How can two fundamentally creatures coexist and get married together?

I have this thought that most couples never ever work out is not only that they don’t trust each other; they probably don’t deserve the trust anyway. Many a times, when in love, not only a particular individual lie to others, he or she may not be perfectly honest with themselves. Why is that so? The reason I would think is fear. They fear rejection. They fear that they may lose their pride if they need the other party more than their better half needs them. They are afraid of being hurt most of all. As a result, so many relationships didn’t have a good ending, and even more potential relationships didn’t start due to fear.

Me being the hum chi wimp and the legendary pussy that I always was, thinks that fear is stronger than love. Reason being that as babies, our base instinct is fear before loving others. Every creature’s instinct will tell it to survive and to survive; we have to fear dangerous stuff like fire or heights etc. We had to learn how to love when we are much older. Love for our parents, siblings, friends, and our spouses.

However, when this lady pal of mine told me the above quote, I was like Woah, totally enlightened instantly. From my interpretation of the wise one, everyone fears. We are fearful of life, but we still get on with life each day! Love can overcome fear if you have plenty of it to go around. The reason why we joined the army is due to love for our family and friends, and of course I am ignoring the fact that we are also conscripted to serve in the national service.

Of course before losing your fear, one must first lose their ego. That is actually the hardest part, throwing away one’s pride. I am honestly afraid to throw away my pride as I wonder how much I would be worth without it. I am currently worth around 40 thousand at max now, due to my poly diploma and my degree if I can get it in 6 months. After subtracting my pride, I am probably worth much lesser.

Anyway right, just to add a bit more lines, shooting stars only work the first time you wish upon one, the 2nd time right, it doesn’t work at all. So be smart and wish for something long-term and not something really short-term like I did. It is dumb.

For example, if you wish to strike lottery, don’t wish for 4d, wish for toto immediately. Or if you like a girl, don’t wish to know her better, instead wish that you could be together. Aim far and you will go far. Shooting stars illusion is created by all the evil directors of Taiwanese or Korean dramas to cheat girls only.

Swine Flu

2009-06-12T11:24:00.000-07:00

Holy smokes, pigs have wings!

Is Photoshop and makeup+camera angle 45 degree tilt down a Necessary evil?

2009-06-06T17:44:00.001-07:00

Hello ladies and gentlemen! Due to very busy schedule recently as I am trying to enjoy my youth, I haven been posting up any new articles. However, as I had insomnia and couldn’t sleep for the last 3 hours, I decided to write something that I may not have written if I was sober and sane. It is 7am btw, and the birds chirping outside my window is irritating the crap out of me. Only by writing, may lessen the need to grab any object at hand and flung it at the nearest blasted feathered pathetic excuse at the end of the dinosaur’s evolution path. How birds evolved into dinosaurs, I will always be curious but that is another tale for another day. Back to topic.

I am sure everyone of you have seen pictures of girls that are like woahhhhhh! The pictures they put in facebook or Friendster, is that of a adorable sweet young thing, looking coyly at the camera, with their head slightly tilted to an angle. In fact, many of those girls look just like models in the pictures! However, this being sad reality, means that most of the time, the girls in the picture would be lucky to look half as gorgeous.

I know of a particular lady(no, she may or may not be in my facebook, but even if she is, you won’t know who she is) who has shoulders broader than me, and is probably 20 kgs heavier than me (Around 90 kg). However, her expertise in using photoshop to edit her image, and her camera angle and tons of make up is able to make her look 30 kgs lighter. In the picture, her complexion is similar that of a baby by using bad lighting, and when taken from the trial and tested legendary 45 degrees pointed down, her chest and cleavage would be the envy of Pamela Anderson. Of course one would question her motives for posting such a provocative image online of herself. I had the misfortune of encountering her image when surfing hardwarezone forum, and got a rude shock when I saw that I knew the girl in the image. If the pictures of her posted were even 10% more provocative, and I am a braver man, I would have dug my eyeballs out.

One however, do have to admire the way the picture was set up, everything seemed to have been done by a professional photographer. And the photoshopping skills were even much more impressive, and to think I used to study multimedia too! I definitely can’t hold a candle to her in editing skills!

Of course, maybe some girls would be upset because I am using a lady in my example, but I have to state something here. If in this situation it is a guy who is taking camera angle shots of himself, photoshopping the pictures till he look like Andy Lau, I would also talk about him. Anyway I think the time wasted on using photoshopping should be used to lose weight or keep fit. At least you would be doing something. Showing everyone such a beautiful image of yourself wouldn’t change the fact that you are not actually doing anything to improve yourself. You would be cheating everybody plus yourself. The cheating part is what I really hate, and there is totally nothing wrong with not being totally gorgeous since I am not Brad Pitt nor Johnny Depp.

Last but not least, I didn't proof read this note at all, so confirm have grammar mistakes, and this is but a fictional story. Any resemblance to real people you may or may not know could be totally unintentional. Not sleeping makes me cranky.

Taken from facebook post, Do I believe in fate?

2009-05-14T12:19:00.000-07:00

I have often wondered about the above question, of the existence of fate. Sometimes, I would think that it is useless to fight against destiny, but to leave everything in the fair hands of Fate and her best friend Lady Luck. Why not? It is often useless to fight against the inevitable right? It you are meant to strike lottery, or a girl is meant to fall in love with you, it will definitely happen regardless of what you do.

WRONG

My personal belief is that although fate exists, it is only there to facilitate your choices. Given the hunch of winning lottery numbers, you realized that you still have to fork out money to buy a ticket right? Of course I would like it if people do not quote me here and blame me for their loss in their aspiration to gain wealth and control their own destiny. In simple words, I think that opportunities are always there to be grabbed, but if we sat on our butts all day long. Somehow someone may come forward and take what belongs or should have belonged to you. Opportunity loss often include bf/gf/winning lottery tickets/business and many other stuff which I can’t think of at the moment.

On the other hand, fate plays a huge role in everything also. For example, I could be taking the Train and saw the most beautiful woman in the world. Or perhaps, I saw Jessica Alba. Of course, being a 100% Heterosexual dude (I know that Iris thinks otherwise), a guy wouldn’t really mind if he knows her right? Problem is, does he go forward to introduce himself to her on the train? If he did that and she developed a friendship with her, he must either look like Andy Lau or he is a very fortunate man. The odds are that she would just turn a cheek or try to edge as far away as she could from this guy. But lets say maybe a year later, he met her at a company function, of course he could have the opportunity to know her better. Imagine what would have happened if he want to know her on the Train, and she shunned him, and they met each other 1 year later? Would he get the unbiased opportunity to know her? Probably not, I guess.

Everything happens for a reason. One must not sit around on his butt waiting for things to happen, but no run into everything recklessly, believing in nothing but himself. It is like a guy with two twisted ankle riding on a tricycle, self-induced accidents are bound to happen sooner or later.’

Ending this article, my view is that fate is here for you to make a choice, and if things never happen the way you wanted, don’t always blame the poor girl if you refused to do anything. On a light note, I heard that swinging a cat over your head at midnight gives good luck, but I don’t recommend that anyone tries it. The cat would scratch.

Anyway, if the questions you spotted for exams is wrong right, is Luck's fault cause you got suay face.

P.S-PPl whom got tagged in this post, reason is either I know that you have often been reading my blog and I lazy to post it up there, or have been requested by them to tag them so they can read my post easier. Another reason could be that you are a person with many views and I always find them interesting. If nothing applies to you here, just take it that I find you pretty hot. For example, Desmond, I have often find him very fit and find myself gushing like a secondary school girl meeting her celebrity crush for the first time.

Odac ladies.

2009-04-14T22:30:00.001-07:00

I have something to declare here. I think that girls from Odac are the most magnificent and spectacular creatures in the world. If anyone ever had a question about the possibility of god, let me tell you, he exists. It is improbable that evolution could have created girls so wholesomely perfect. They are all bright, wholesome, sweet and gentle creatures that can melt even the hardest stone. Their beauty can only be measured by their wit, and even so, one has problems finding a exact ruler to measure their strengths. How does one measure infinity? It just isn't possible at all.

Outgoing and always loving, they climb mountains with great ease, putting men to shame. Even when odds are tough, they never ever give up at all, always giving a smile, a grin, and two-thumbs up. They also have incredible agility and speed as one can see, from the way they managed to slot themselves in the least amount of time into every nook and cranny whenever a picture is to be taken, and still appear photogenic without a single hair out of place.

One can't help but be smitten by both their good looks and personality, they would charm the socks off a old geezer. Without further ado, I will now attempt to describe them as best as I could using as little words as possible.

Starting with my batch, Serping, Iris, Lynn, Zivx, Melissa, Sharon, Shirlyn, Jeannie, Jiajia.

Serping: Always ready with a smile, she has taught me the value of being considerate for others. My fondest memory of her is when she kept the Mcdonald's tray after eating, and I thought that this is admirable indeed. Kenny is a lucky man.

Additional points for knowing how to bake.+1 for cheesecake

Iris: Cute, not in the ugly but adorable manner, but truly cute, this girl is often worrying for others and everything else. Her laughter is one of the things you first notice about her, and often, she is able to make random strangers fall in love with her. She is happily unaware of her cuteness, and she dislike that word. She thinks that Nesh is Awesome. Her only weakness is Ice cream.

Lynn: Energetic and bubbly, one good reason to join odac for guys, is for the opportunity to know this lady. She was able to charm a guy at the bike shop to give us discounts, and I doubt that any other guys would have gotten the discount. Unfortunately, she has a boyfriend who is twice as muscular as any other guys out there.

Zivx: Tall and good looking, her role as the da jie of odac, is that of a professional PR manager. She is very charismatic and she has a very mature mindset, probably due to her experience in the working world. She is not going to have any lack of suitors. One memorable thing I recall is that she is the only gal I know who wears make up at camp. This shows us how professional she is, even at camp.

Melissa: The first thing you ever notice about her is her smile, followed by the curls in her hair. Her laughter comes next, and she is like the first ray of the sun after a heavy downpour. Yao quan is a lucky man too.

Additional points for knowing how to bake.+1 for cupcakes.

Sharon: Model, tall, leggy, and an appetite that just won't quit. Amazingly, her figure won't quit also. Yet for someone of so many strengths, her greatest strength is her humbleness.

Shirlyn: One very unique girl indeed, as she smiles, with her eyes. Her voice is that of a elderly sister, soothing and calm. But her random bouts of hysterical laughter never fails to put a smile on your face.

Jeannie: This girl here is like a younger sister to everybody. Guys instinctively feels protective towards her, like that of a father or brother, and her kayaking experience is indeed a joy to watch. It gives ppl great laughter.

Additional points for knowing how to bake.+1 for cupcakes.

Jiajia: A very gentle girl, JiaJia is a great Npcc instructor. Sometimes, one can't help but wonder where her mind is wandering off to, but she worries for everybody alot. Very kind-hearted, her warmth is always welcomed in this cruel vicious world.

Now for our freshies: Pamela + Kylie, Brenda, Daphy + Shuqi, Sheila. Wanting, Mich, Jiali, Pearl, and Wanshan

Pamela + Kylie: This two girls are fit, tanned, and have a couple of nuts loose in their head. But for all the craziness they presented, they are always the life of the party, and it is always a joy to see them every time. They would make really great wives, if they ever learned how to cook one fine day.......

Minus points for Potentially unsafe and hopefully edible food.-1

Brenda: Gorgeous but always there with a blank look in her face. However, the gears are constantly moving around in her head, and she thinks alot. She is rather independent and ppl are attracted to her white teeth smile like bees to honey. She is a nice girl cause she loves Ben and Jerry.

Additional points for knowing how to bake.+1 for Oreo cupcake.

Daphy and Shuqi: Seemingly opposite of Pam and Kylie, this two girls seems to be quiet at first. But once you know them, you realised that they are much more than who they seem to be. Daphy is a great driver and a better observer, and her opinions are always well-thought and good.

Shuqi, unlike a famous starlet of the exact same name, is instead a good looking girl-next door person. I do advise her not to play poker too much, as her face is too easy to read and too honest. She can't lie at all.

Additional points for knowing how to bake.+1 for ceral tibits

Sheila: The current VP of odac, she is certainly better looking than the previous vp, no offense to Daven as I am unfortunately straight. One thing you notice about her is that she seems to know what she is doing at all times, and guys spot her strength the moment they see her. They seem to know that there is something very special about this lady.

Wanting: Doremon lover, and happily scattered brain, but the classic example of a kid sister every guy want to have, she was able to teach me one of the most valuable lessons in my short but exciting life. She taught me that actually I can take bus 52 home and changing to bus 852 or 855, is able to get home alot faster than my usual route. For that I thank her.

Oh yeah, she is also the lucky girl who managed to go on a solo date with 5 odac hunks.

Additional points for knowing how to bake.+1

Mich: Awesomely pretty, great driving skills, she reminds me of a fairy princess in white on her 21st birthday. She is friendly to everyone she sees, and her chirpiness is very very contagious.

Jia li + Pearl: This two girls are categorised together due to their love for cats. Cats are indeed one of the more feared animals according to most ladies, and the fact that this two girls like them, is indeed admirable. Reason why they are nice as they love cats is actually due to the author being biased as he really appreciates cats a lot also.

Pearl and Jia Li have the same admirable trait, in that they are very protective of the girls they are with.

Wanshan: You will notice her voice even before you even see her, it is amazing how much energy she possess. She is extremely excitable, and often, is the main source of noise at any party. With her, one has a hard time trying to get bored, and like always, Elton is indeed a lucky fellow.

Zaogeng

2009-04-10T10:19:00.001-07:00

Hi, everybody. I am going to tell you something that is very upsetting to me for a very long time. I probably wouldn't have type this note out, if I am sober now. Just went drinking with some mates, and I am not thinking right for a bit, so bear with me pls.

I wonder if anyone here has the misfortune of seeing a chubby lady zaogeng, run light, downblouse, or whatever you want to call it. I really want to complain here. It is not that I have anything against fat ladies since I am not really a 6pack muscular strapping young male gigolo myself, but I know that since I am not a muscular strapping young male gigolo with 6 packs, I don't usually walk around showing ppl my belly button. I got the decency to cover it up. But nooooooooooo, some gals think that flab is fab, and insist on showing everybody it by dressing in a skimpy manner, showing the world their bosom that one can hold a dinner party on, or a asscrack that contains within it, the mystery of the black hole itself.

Point to note, I have nothing against fat girls really, since I am not technically a manhunt model myself. But I object against fat ladies purposely wearing very little. They should wear something that show off their charm. For god's sake, imagine Moses Lim wearing speedos, not very nice right? Of course if you are Jessica Alba, I won't protest so much, but then again, if Brad Pitt wear speedos, you girls won't complain also right?

And really, I would love it if I am given a choice to choose if I want to see somebody zaogeng. I thought that it is the most basic of human rights, the choice to choose? But if a lady that has too many extra bits hanging around walk by me, it is not that I want to look it is that I wasn't given a choice at all due to the fact that she is obstructing my view.

I realised that some people would say that everyone should have the freedom to choose what they want to wear, but in doing so, they force others to look at them, becoming the oppressor themselves.

And do you know how many nights I spend crying in my bed due to the horrors I seen? My eyes bleed when I see what I don't want to see. Even when I close my eyes, it is already too late. At the moment I saw the image, the memory is etched forever in my mind. I feel that I am being taken advantage of, like they are doing it on purpose, getting a sick thrill flashing themselves to me, or the rest of the world. There is just so much a guy can take, I did nothing really evil or wrong, to deserve such a punishment.

Please, ladies that lack the figure(or have too much of it), do not purposely expose yourself to the world. Accidentally is fine. Not on purpose. I realized that to my horror, that there are girls that are obese, but trying to expose themselves to the world in order to boost their confidence. Is it fair that they get their confidence level up, but take away a guy's innocence forever? Think.
I think I will protest by wearing my jeans very very low, and bending down on purpose to pick up imaginary coins, thus exposing my buttcrack to those girls for revenge.

Need a stiff drink

2009-03-15T07:46:00.001-07:00

I sincerely wish that I am an idiot. I worry less about life, and won't have to be frustrated by the speed of things going around me that is spiriling out of control.

I seriously hate to be able to forecast the future. Shit man.

I need some Volka tonight.

On a side note, Got this from a facebook application about ppl who is born on sept 14. Interesting,90% accurate.

Suave and compromising. <---Yeahhhh, I am damn Suave

Careful, cautious and organized.<---Not with my room apparently, but other things, abit. Esp about r/s

Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn.<---Wah, my friends would agree with this

Quiet but able to talk well. <---Depends, I am always able to talk well. I like to talk but sometimes I am also quite silent with strangers.

Calm and cool.<---I am cool, usually calm, unless dealing with jerks

Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest.<---quite true, I am not always honest, I cannot even be honest with my own feelings.

Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around.Secretive<---Good points is quite accurate, I love to look for info too much, and quite secretive. Know too many stupid secrets

Loves sports, leisure and traveling.<--Love sports but suck at it

Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.<---wah, this part hor, I kena complain by many ppl before, esp gals, don't like to show emotions infront of the ladies, very malu one leh. And I am super duper choosy in relationships, stupid virgos, always like that.

Insanity

2009-03-15T02:23:00.000-07:00

I am not afraid of idiots, as it is all right to be an idiot in my opinion. But what I fear is that when you peel the mask off the face of anybody, what they are hiding underneath is not a idiotic looking grin, but a sneer.

Around a decade ago, one of my buddies once stated that I sucked at judging people’s characters. Years later, I matured and I developed an uncanny sense of seeing a person’s real character. But this is a totally useless ability. It didn’t bring joy to me, but instead, endless agony. I am able to see the darkest region of a person’s heart through a lot of observation, and I am always goddamn accurate.

I am able to guess things before I am told, just because I take notice of my surroundings. I realized that people are prone to doing the same things over and over again, without realizing it at all.

Why have it not brought me any joy, but instead suffering? When you realized the true extend of the word “ugly” would you be able to understand me. Sometimes I get turned off, but a few times, I am truly disgusted and revolted by the way another human being is thinking. And this scares the crap out of me.

I fear that I would become like the ugliest mind I see also. I already know that I will never ever be a saint, but I do not want to have an ugly face when my smile is torn down also. I fear that one day, I will become the kind of person I despised the most.

I fear knowing how people think.

I fear thinking.

And I fear that people are unable to see what I see. It is always not too good to know so much.

I hope I am insane, so at least the odds of me being wrong is higher.

I am tired.

Stupid women

2009-03-04T07:26:00.000-08:00

Before I get shoot down by anybody for this article, let me clarify myself first.

YES, I think you women are freaking damn dumb, not majority of you, but a substantial amount of you that convinced me to write this article. When I am writing this, I admit I can’t hold back the feeling of contempt and disgust about the mindset of many ladies.

You girls always want someone who is nice, protective of you, caring, understanding, and the works. Yet when I give such a guy to you, you prefer to choose another guy whom is totally not in the same league as him. You all always prefer the sweet words of a guy who is obviously trying to play you out, preferring lies over truth, charm over honesty, and swagger over results.

You know what?

BULLSHIT

When a guy gives his all for you, you acted coyly, when one goes after you with bull-blazing passion, you accepted him with rashly without thinking it through your head. Equally bad are your gossipy friends that are equally dumb, that have only given you nothing but awful lousy advices like the true bimbos they are? Not to say, women can’t give good advice, but in love matters, you either look for another lady who is really smart enough to judge everything accurately rather than shriek and think that they are some goddamn love guru. Often your girlfriends get suckered in by the same guy that suckered you in also. This is an advice, next time just ask a close male friend of yours whom isn’t interested in you at all about your potential suitors. He probably would be able to judge everything better than your stupid bimbo girlfriends.

Is what I am saying coming true? Those girls aren’t equipped with an ADR? Asshole-detection-radar? Guys are biased, we can see this particular individual, and don’t like him immediately. We are able to tell if the dude is a jerk, or has a hidden agenda. I have been able to detect quite a number throughout the years, and amusingly, other guys always have the same particular nagging feeling about the same individual that we think is a jerk. And the point is, we are always correct.

They say you girls have woman’s intuition, bullcrap, it works for nuts. When was the last time it worked sister? Even when it works, and the alarm goes blaring and blazing red, you ladies do nothing but shrug your shoulders and think everything will work out eventually. A leopard doesn’t change its spots that fast, Keep thinking that you are the one that is going to change him. Good luck, the previous few girlfriends he cheated also felt the same way till either he dumped them or they woke up from their stupor themselves. Those that woke up are the lucky ones.

They say that love is blind. I agree.

I have another saying. It is because people refused to open their goddamn eyes. Maybe if you girls don’t open your eyes wider and think with your head instead of your heart for once, maybe there would be a lot less jerks in this world. I still can’t understand woman, if one have to lie and sweet-talk em all the way to be able to impress them, honestly, I rather be gay. The reasoning is not valid at all, it is like me saying that I hate pain, yet I keep on pulling off my armpit hair out, or me saying that I am totally not gay, just that I happen to like guys.(not true btw, I am using an analogy, cause sadly, I am 101% straight)

Don’t get me wrong, I hate jerks more than I hate stupid women. But sometimes, life is like economics, there is demand, there is supply. Just like fur coats, people know how cruel it is to buy one, yet they still buy it. Can you girls just be slightly less naïve for once?

For the rest of the nice guys, my final words for you is that, Love is not about trying to survive the storm, but more of learning how to dance in the rain.

(P.S, NO, I didn't get dumped. I just couldn't take the stupidity of some ppl anymore. Pls freaking wake up your idea.)

Love or Religion?

2009-02-03T07:33:00.000-08:00

Hmm, before I continue on with this topic, please understand that this topic could be involving religion, and if it offends you at any point while reading, stop reading. I rather you not read than to curse me and think have a lower opinion of me, if it is possible to go down any lower.

I am sure that at some point in life, some of you guys and gals could be unfortunate enough to have to choose between the two choices, or at least heard of your friends being involved in the above mentioned situation. You could be given an ultimate by your better half, who wants you to join him or her religion in the name of love. If you refused to do so, you don’t love him/her enough.

Just curious here, would you force your bf/gf to eat spinach or a vegetarian spouse to eat meat just because you eat meat? Even if they really hate what you are forcing them to do? I doubt so.

You know, trying to save the soul of your better half is a jolly thing to do, but you have like dunno how many years to do it after getting married right? You can nag at him or her all the way, and even at the end, if he/she croaks without embracing your religion, don’t worry. As long as you are god-fearing/loving and chummy with the guy up there, I think he is definitely going to present your spouse with a ticket to heaven also. You buy shoe got buy one side only meh? Confirm must buy a pair what, he won’t take you and leave your spouse to hell one lar. (Anyway, this is but my view, incase he send your spouse to hell, please don’t blame me, I am not going to pay emotional damages to you for fraud misrepresentation)

One thing I totally cannot understand is how some religious organization cell groups can be, the so called family that take malicious pleasure in breaking apart a happy couple. The reason is always that they feel that the unfortunate bf/gf isn’t in that religion, and they often pile pressure on their group mate till he or she is breaking up mentally. It often results in a break-up, or a “forced” conversion. Even worst, there have been many incidents of a jealous cell group member who likes his or her group mate, so they are the ones inducing hatred to outcast what he/she think is a love rival. This kind of individuals, are what I usually refer to as ASSWIPES. Which is lower and dirtier than an asshole, as ASSWIPE is the tissue paper you use to wipe your ahem-ahem after doing big business. With friends like this, who needs an enemy?

If you love somebody, love him or her with every cell in your body, and not listen to your “Brothers” and “Sisters” for even when they are your friends, they may not be thinking of you, but for themselves. They are like the Ku Klux Klan, but instead of Africans Americans, they are seeking people of other religion to lynch on.

Should you go for the same religion and ignore every other person if they are from another religion? Let me ask you ah, you eat Singapore Rojak right? Cause you are Singaporean. Then why you eat Penang Laksa, Japanese Sushi, Italian Pizza and French fries from France if they are not even from Singapore? Do you need a reason to like them? I guess not.

Reason is simple, almost everybody loves fries, but it is unhealthy, greasy and gives you high cholesterol, but you still like it right? You everyday eat Singaporean Rojak you won’t sian meh? And it doesn’t mean that you are Singaporean, you have to eat Rojak what! What if I don’t like rojak at all?

Okay, now my take on religion. I feel rather sad for the guy below, Satan. You see, he gets the blame for everything. Every single movie likes to portray him as an insensitive jerk who wants to do nothing but rule the world for eternity. His life is already sad enough due to Hollywood. But weirdly, every one blames him for what they are doing wrong. This part here has not been exaggerated, and I have seen concrete examples.

Tripped over a root on the floor, “FUCK! Satan wanted me to fall”. (I think it is just a root growing out, and if you must blame, blame yourself for being cock-eye)

At a particular preaching service “Will who succumbed to temptation and watched porn please rise up your hands? It is Satan’s tempting you to watch porn”。 <--This is hilarious, as this is a pretty convenient excuse. Hell, if I watched porn, it is cause I wanted to watch it, not some red guy with horns on his head and hoofs for leg forcing me to watch it.

At the same time, if you believe in god, please note that he only help those that help themselves, and not guys who whine all the time. Even if he want to let you strike lottery, you have to go buy the lottery ticket first right?

Uh…….by the way, the Author of this post has many Christian, Catholic, Muslim, a couple of hindu friends, and a bunch of Buddhism and Taoism friends. His father is a Buddhist, mum and brother free thinker. He has a lot of Catholic relatives. He has also attended church for a number of years, and he isn’t a believer in Atheism.

If there is any comments, try not to make it a religious comment, but perhaps your view only.

Comments like “My god RaxX0R more than J0o’s” or “There is no God in the world” will be deleted.

Sinkai, if you are commenting, please put a normal answer for once and do not attempt to promote anything.

I will delete it immediate if you put crap.Anyway, instead of Love or Religion, lets try to make it love and religion K?

The fat lady never sings.

2009-01-08T20:47:00.000-08:00

Morals and Ethics

Ever since women get wrapped up in their never ending desire to become thinner than they already are, they have been asking their husbands, boyfriends, sons, brothers, friends this question that is probably first asked by the first cavewoman after eating her mammoth steak. “Darling, do you think I look fat?” A wrong answer probably leads to the poor caveman being clubbed by his wife to death. Perhaps the survival of Cro-Magnum men over Neanderthal men is due to their ability to lie. Neanderthal men are all too bloody honest (Or dumb) and therefore, clubbed to extinction.

Today, modern man has faced great adversaries, conquering diseases, conquered continents, conquering space and distance. We created the atomic bomb, launched Satellites, invented laser weapons.

Yet time and time again, everyman, from presidents to the common blue-collar workers have been faced with the question they dread the most after “when are you going to marry me?” The reason could be that “Darling, do you think I look fat?” is in fact a question without any right answers at all. How a woman ask this question usually starts like this, she would be admiring herself in the mirror, while buying a new shirt or something, and she comes out and ask you if she looks fat. And she will add this “Baby, I want you to be totally honest with me.”

Now this is the tricky part.

I try to think of various scenarios that will happen for you.

1) Assuming that she is fat, you tell her the truth, she becomes unhappy, and is angry with you openly. This is still okay.
2) If you tell her the truth, she becomes unhappy, and will give you silence treatment all the way. This is tricky, I suggestion using chocolate sundaes to warm her up again.
3) She is fat, you tell her a lie and try to reassure her she isn’t fat. She doesn’t believe you and is angry because you won’t tell her the truth.
4) She is fat, you convince her she is thin, and happily, she decided to get the dress, and continue eating until she gains more weight or can’t fit into the dress, as she looks like a over-ripe tomato about to burst in it. She blames you for it also.
5) You convinced her that the dress makes everyone look chubby in it, she won’t be reassured also, and wonder if she should diet to make herself thinner. She forces you to eat less and diet with her.
6) She is thin, she looks good in the dress. If you are very very lucky, you would get through this stage without difficulty. Perhaps only 20% of men can get choice 6, but even then, you are not totally safe yet. She may think that you are lying, and the whole cycle begins again.

There is also this question we must ask ourselves, is it morally and ethically right to tell your girlfriend/wife/friends a lie? If so, who are you telling the lie for, for their sake, or to save your own skin?

Definition of morals and ethics to my understanding is that morals is understand what is right or wrong, while ethics is the study of morality. We all have a conscience and we learn morals, from our parents, friends, and society in the end. What I learned from my uncles and father is that sometimes it is better to tell your wife a white lie than to hear her nagging. Reason is actually quite simple, she will be happier without hearing the truth, and your ears will have peace. It makes life a bit more bearable. Morally, I guess it is okay.

According to Socrates, any person who knows what is truly right will automatically do it. While he correlated knowledge with virtue, he similarly equated virtue with happiness. The truly wise man will know what is right, do what is good and therefore be happy. Each individual has a core of underlying values that contribute to our system of beliefs, ideas and/or opinions. Integrity in the application of a value ensures its continuity and this continuity separates a value from beliefs, opinion and ideas. In this context a value (e.g., Truth or Equality or Greed) is the core from which we operate or react. It is likely that Plato believed that virtue was, in fact, a single thing, and that this enumeration was created by others in order to better define virtue. In Protagoras and Meno, he states that the separate virtues can't exist independently, and offers as evidence the contradictions of acting with wisdom (prudence), yet in an unjust way, or acting with bravery (fortitude), yet without wisdom (prudence). (This entire chunk here is taken from the internet)

In accordance with the previous paragraph, in layman’s terms, acting with wisdom but in an unjust manner, an example could be, you tell your wife that she is thin, to save your own skin. This is wisdom, but morally you are telling a lie, which also meant that you are lacking in “truthfulness”.

Acting with bravery yet without wisdom, is you telling your wife the truth, that her butt reminds you of national geographical channel while they are showcasing rhinos special that day. This is very brave of you indeed, sir, but you are bloody goddamn stupid.

If I had to say, I would be more inclined to state that ethically, you should be correct also, to prevent grief to both parties, but this is only my piece of view. :)

The odds of you finding your dream guy/girl

2009-01-02T23:14:00.000-08:00

Today while having a walk with my brother, we had a casual conversation on the odds of finding our dream girl. It suddenly strikes me to come out with a new mathematic formula to determine the percentage of us finding our dream girl/guy.

It is in fact, extremely simple. For example, we will now choose to use a lady for demostration. We will call her Miss X, as we have to protect the interviewee's identity.

Miss X when questioned on her ideal dream ma, came out with a number of criteria that seemed extremely reasonable.

1)sporty

2)can cook

3)sensitive,mature,sincere,great sense of character

4)have substance/ambitious

5)humour

6)someone trustable

7)chemistry

8)kind-hearted

9)cannot be crude

Using her dream traits, I decided to assign them a random variable, one that is as close to the real percentage as possible and checked with her if the numbers are to her satisfaction, to ensure that I am not biased.

1)sporty 50%
2)can cook 30%
3)sensitive,mature,sincere,great sense of character 30%
4)have substance/ambitious 30%
5)humour 50%
6)someone trustable 20%
7)chemistry 25%
8)kind-hearted 25%
9)cannot be crude 50%

50% meaning that 50 out of 100 guys are sporty. 30% meaning that 30 out of 100 guys can cook and so forth.

To get the odds that shows her ideal man, we can do this
50/100*30/100*30/100*30/100*50/100*20/100*25/100*25/100*50/100=0.0000421875 rounding off to 0.00004 or 4 out of 10000. And an interesting point of this observation is that Miss X is actually has quite low-expectation for her dream guy. I know many girls that has much higher expectations like having a car, rich, tall, romantic etc.

Okay, now is time to calculate the odds for a normal hetrosexual man. I will just be fair here, I will throw in two traits that is compulsary, a great figure and a beautiful face.( guys fall in love thru their eyes. girls fall in love thru their ears--wise words from Miss X )

1)beautiful 25%
2)great figure 35%
3)can cook 10%
4)intellegent 30%
5)kind-hearted 30%
6)chemistry 25%
7)humour 35%

After calculations, the odds I got are 0.00006890625 or rounded off to 7 in 10000.

This probably is an indication of man having lower expectations compared to woman. Also just a word, the guy who was interviewed intially gave me alot less traits compared to the woman, I just added in a few to balance it out abit more.

My disease

2008-11-27T23:04:00.000-08:00

Since I was 13 yrs of age, I had been suffering from a strange disease. I seem to be strangely drawn towards the prettier ones of the fairer sex, while remaining perfectly stoic among their less outstanding friends. It is also at this point in my life, I begin to develop a highly irrational fear and anger of people of my same gender trying to hug or grope me. It could be just a friendly gesture, but for some cockdamine reason, I just hate my own gender getting close to me.

I wonder why am I friendlier to pretty girls, why can’t of strange illness is that. When they are beside me, I seem to do nothing but grin and bare my teeth. It is a strange disease indeed, when their mere words reduced whatever thinking mind you had to mush. I have often attempted to conquer my disease by knowing more pretty girls, thinking that as long as I am used to them, they may not affect me that much. And maybe finally, I can be cured totally.

But no, it didn’t.

The closer I get to them, the more overwhelmed I am by them. There is only one kind I am immune against. It is those pretty girls but with the IQ of a mashmallow, as they may look pretty at first, but soon, you discovered that they have nothing but clouds in their head. The problems lays with those pretty girls with brains, you don’t see a lot now, but the reason is simple………………….They are just pretending to be stupid.It is totally horrible. They act stupid, gaining your trust, and they overwhelm you and swallow you whole.

One must often be aware of his surroundings and to defend himself or run away the moment men-eaters like them rear their ugly heads. I suggest buying Rebok Air to run faster.It is only recently I discovered the source of my disease.

I think it is because of puberty……..

What is love?

2008-10-18T09:59:00.000-07:00

What is love? Often people asked themselves or their friends this question, yet they are unable to come up with the right answer. Am I qualified enough to give you the answer? I am not so sure, it is for you to judge.

In my utterly fantastic and ultra happening life, I have never told a woman that I love her. I may have had girlfriends before, but I still didn’t tell them that. Is it because I don’t care for them? Nope. The reason is that because I believed that word to be sacred. I believe that one should only say it to those they can confirm at the moment that “goddamn it, this is the one woman I don’t mind giving up eating Ben and Jerry for the rest of my life.”

In simple words, I will only say it to the one I feel that is the only one I am going to say it to for the rest of mine life. I did care for my ex-girlfriends really, but I was still in the process of knowing them more when everything went Kaput!

Well. Lets not harp on the past should we?

Okay, fast-forward to the present day. I personally think that falling in love is a rather scary thing. I am personally goddamn afraid of falling in love. You do stupid things. It makes you extremely stupid. You lose weight and sleep over it. It isn’t very healthy.

But, only through love will you realized that for once, you can do so much, you can feel so strongly about something so utterly unexplainable. To feel that strongly about somebody, is an entirely new experience for me. Alas, sometimes things may not go as well as you expected.

I learned a few things really, which is great. Through an observation point of view of course. But when you are one of the major characters it is really kinda tragic really.

1) Looks isn’t everything in a relationship

2) If she likes you, she likes you. If she doesn’t, no matter what you do, you are wasting your time and effort.

3) If you truly think that you love her, you want her to be happy no matter what happens. You will support her in whatever decision she makes.

4) Everything happens for a reason, if she doesn’t appreciate you, I am sure someone else does

5) Last but not least………………..When you feel that all hope is lost........................remember there are ppl out there that care for you.........I can name you the two person right now. They have been a vital part of my life all these years, always supporting me in times of need. They are my friend, my family, and they given me the passion to live on strongly......

Thank You! Ben And Jerry!!!!!

Hello ppl

2008-10-17T01:15:00.000-07:00

Hi ladies and gentlemen, faithful readers of my blogs.

I am very sorry that I haven been entertaining you guys recently due to commitment to my studies.

Intitally I wanted to blog only after my exams......

But one incident that happened today shown me that it is very important to entertain others.It may relive the stress from their lives.I was fortunate enough to receive a phone call from a total stranger,yet it took my mind off my studies,and my stress level decreased by 50% instantly.Isn't it amazing?

Today at around 4pm,after burying my head in my Leadership management notes, I received a phone call from a unlisted number. I answered the phone in a bored manner, but the person on the other end asked me in a very cheerful voice if I know how to speak in Chinese.

"先生讲华语吗?"

Hey being so cheerful, and being from China, I feel that I cannot be a bad host since our government is welcoming foreign talents.

To my pleasant surprise, she say she is calling from hong kong, and is inviting me to join a charity gala ball in Hong kong with tons of famous celebrities! I was immediately bowl over by her generous offer, even when she didn't even know my name, nor age, nor address. I refused to question how the heck she managed to pick me, cause an unnamed fortune teller once told me I am born under a lucky star. Hoho,apparently I am going to stay at a famous 5-star hotel and get flown first class there!

FREE OF CHARGE!

She wanted to get my Address first, so I feel that it wouldn't be right to give her my real address since my parents live here also. I want to give the tickets to my mum and dad as their wedding aniversary surprise! I asked her to send the tickets to another address ( my friend's one) but I may have spell the wrong spelling for Tiong Bahru.

I ask her send the mail to Tiong Fuck you road, street 69,#12-69, and to Mr Fu Ck You. She has a terrible command of englsh, so I have to spell it out for her. She asked my age, I say I was 32, and she commented that I sounded young. She is a first-class telephone operator, since she can guess I am younger than 32!

Actually I think she was flirting with me all the way, she kinda make me blush.

Feeling extremely shy, I told her to fuck off, since I dun like Zhang Hui Mei who was coming to charity Gala and I slammed the phone on her.

Goddamn me for my shyness.

(p.s-The above is a true and unedited incident)

Questions to ask oneself

2008-09-03T11:56:00.000-07:00

1)If I see a woman wearing red in the middle of the 7th month at midnight drowning in the canal, would I jump down and save her?

Well, excellent question here.I　will jump down and save her if she is ugly.Cause if she is pretty,that means that the odds of her being a ghost is relatively high. Also importantly,check the water level of the canal,if it looks like it is less than 50 cm deep,there is something wrong with your woman in red apparently.

2)Do I believe in fate and karma?

Not really, cause you often see jerks(yes,even the ugly ones) with really pretty girls. But I do believe in myself alot more,everything is in my own hands depending on how much I want something.But sadly,I don't really believe that much in karma nor fate for another reason,as they say the good will be rewarded.If that was true,Jessica Alba would be my girlfriend right?

3)If Small eyes like rain were cool.....

Then why ain't I half as popular as RAIN from korea?He got small beady eyes,just like me!
Oh yeah....he got a 6 pack and can dance up a storm too.

4) Why the heck do Elton John and Micheal Jackson like guys or small kids?

It doesn't make sense when they are rich and talented enough to get any girl they want,yet they prefer something disgusting and horrible,like me for example.

5)It is like 3 am now,and I got school tomorrow.

So why the hell am I typing this instead of snoring in bed?

Goddamn it

2008-08-25T01:35:00.000-07:00

Why is it taking like 2 hours for me just to pick up the bloody phone to call you?

You strike more fear into me than a hissy cat on pms.

Got to get rid of this fear of calling girls on the phone.Goddamn it.

Dear God

2008-08-22T17:32:00.000-07:00

I know it isn't very nice of me to have this small minor request of you now,cause I am neither a buddhist,christian,catholic,muslim and I am definately not a Jew.

Happily,I am neither an aethist or a member of a santanic cult too.So if you exist,pls hear me out.

It is like 8.30am now,and I got a leadership management test in around 6 hours.I didn't study that much.And I went for a pathetic fireworks display the night before.

If you have it in your heart to forgive me and allow me a great grade,I promise you,I will feed the next few kittens I see.

If even that doesn't sway you,I will also give up eating any chocolates(it is as good as giving up my secret heroin addiction) for the next week or so.
Please,even if you don't like me that much,pity me.

(P.S-Just incase I die of red bull overdose,please let me through the pearly gates even though I am neither baptised nor circumcised)

Checklist for ladies.

2008-08-21T01:31:00.000-07:00

Check List to check if your dude is an asshole

First,to clear the misconception that handsome dudes are all arseholes,and butt-ugly dudes have a heart of gold,I have came across a few incidents when the handsome dude is infact extremely nice(no,I am not talking about myself here) while the butt-ugly guy has a character even more butt-ugly than his face,if that is possible.

I know it is rather hard for ladies to judge if a man is an arsehole, so I decided to aid you girls by coming out with a checklist!

1)He has verbally assaulted you.I know it is hard to judge if a man has verbally assaulted u.
Remember "Darling,the dress is 1 size too small for you" doesn't count as verbal assault.
Verbal assault is "Hey PIGGY,go roll in the mud and don't waste my money on that dress."
The tone of his voice is important also.

2)He likes to shrink away from his responsibilities.If he couldn't be counted on to take care of himself,or his promise to you,what happens if you get shotgunned?

3)He likes to flirt around.Harmless random flirting is fine,but not those flirting that lead to him sleeping on a friend's bed.That,is not flirting,it is cheating.

4)He always say he will change,promising you the sky and the moon,but as we all know,a leopard will never change his spots,and Jessica Alba is forever the most beautiful woman in the entire universe.

5)He make you cry.Not due to you being touched by what he has done for you.Nor the kind of korean drama situation when he is dying from a wasting disease and you are by his bed crying your eyes out and suddenly,news came to you that he is infact....your twin brother that has been seperated at birth from you.NO.Not that also.

Rather,he make you feel hurt in your heart,and despair.A real man will never make a woman he loves cry.Infact,a real man will never make any woman cry.

6)Physical assault.Yeah,physical abuse,if you suffered physical abuse,immediately kick that son-of-the-bitch out of your life.A man that hits a woman is no man at all.Vice versa also for the sake of beaten up husbands everywhere.

7)Edison Chen.He is emulating what Edison Chen did to the poor girls.Lets hope he didn't share the pictures around.Any man that does that,frankly,be very careful,you have no idea what he is gonna do with the pictures.

8)His refusal to give you his last mouth of Ben and Jerry.....

Important fact here,to see if a dude is a good man,all you need to do is to zao geng infront of him.There is 3 kind of scenories.

1)His avoidence to look in your direction and attempts to block u for outsider views,or he warn you about your 'opps'. <---This is one of the best guy ever.

2)He keep stealing glances,not telling you anything,but enjoying the magnificent view you are providing for him,sometimes showing hint of a small smile..<-----Gone case,this guy,has gone to the dogs.

3)He looks at you,mouth open so widely that 2 mosquitos can fly in and do an aerial loop.<-----For this situation,I have to apologise for the poor dude.It is your beauty and radiance that dissolved his mind into a blubbering mess.He could be actually a rather nice guy,but for that moment,his reasoning has turned to mush,he can't concentrate on anything else due to the one serious flaw god did when he created men.

He gave man two heads but only enough blood to operate a single head each time.

The post about love

2008-08-20T18:44:00.000-07:00

Today, Mr. Alvin Chua will attempt to lecture about the forbidden 4-lettered word, the word L-O-V-E, or 爱情.

This word is extremely unique; it makes people do things they normally don’t, like dancing around in the rain, grinning from ear-to-ear. Or the person may do something really insane, like murder his or her rival in a fit of jealousy, or die for their lovers when they are required to do so. In short, we have to agree that love is rather stupid, especially if you love the other person more.

Okay, there is many people that believed in love at first sight, especially girls, who always wanted to meet the prince charming of their lives, a dude is full of wit, handsome, charming, filled with charisma, drives, cooks up a storm in the kitchen, rich, and isn’t afraid of being seen as a sensitive new age guy by reading her world., and the best part is they got a great voice and are musically inclined, they can play Canon D on the piano etc. This kind of guy exists, but sad for the ladies, they usually do their shopping at New Urban Male, and they don’t shop there for the excellent choice of clothes, but more for the tanned hunky male assistants…..We conclude here that God is truly fair to give us lesser men a fighting chance.

Okay, back to point, love at first sight, it DOESN’T EXIST AT ALL! OMGAWD!

Why? Love at first sight, means what? You see the other person, your face starts to get really red, and you start to feel really hot. Congrats. You are just feeling really horny. It you still think it is love at first sight, ask yourself this simple question, would you donate your kidney to this person you just saw? No? It is just Lust at first sight, thank you.

Love is when you are willing to sacrifice something for somebody, like giving her your favorite Ben and Jerry ice cream, or willingness to endure physical body pain, like yoga class with your better half, to wrestling a crocodile to save him or her. That is love. You can’t love somebody within a space of 10 min. You don’t even understand the person, much less love them. Love is knowing the other party, and liking them, and spending a lifetime trying to know the reason why you like her in the first place.

The important thing about love is that, we must always bear in our minds that, religion and love, can’t mix. Don’t ever give an ultimate to the other person, “you are either with me, or you are against my religion and you don’t love me enough”. Instead, you are the one being terribly selfish. Screw your bitchy friends that ask to separate with your better half because they refused to join your religion yeah? God says it is good to love, so love freely without any restrictions.

I know a lot of people like to hang on to past relationships here, especially the girls. They are often naïve enough to imagine that their asshole son-of-the-bitch ex-asshole boyfriend will one fine day, see the light and come crying back to them. Sadly girls, stop dreaming, really, I understand your feelings here, I really do. But a leopard can’t change its spots, even if you give them a marker pen, because their paws can’t grab markers. Stop being a life buoy to them for god’s sake. What are you? You are just somebody dangling along on his false hope to you that he will change, but you are only there is he can’t find any other ladies, so he will come flying back to you. You are really worth much more than that you understand?

For the sad lonely souls out there who have never tasted love, maybe you guys are the lucky ones.

Is it better to not tasted love at all, or is it better to know love and lose it?

Super duper THEORIES of the universe

2008-08-16T08:08:00.000-07:00

A interesting topic to ponder today. If a girl is in love with money, and I know how to make money, is she indirectly in love with me? A lot of girls say she only loves money, and not me. But look at it this way, when asked the reason why do they like their boyfriends, many reasons were given like,

1) He is handsome
2) I admire him for his talent (Piano, Singing, tap dancing etc)
3) He is really nice

So let just assume that after being with him, and one fine day, assuming you like him cause he knows piano, and he is involved with an accident. Would you still love him after that? Actually, we can put

4) He got load of money

as a 4th point here. But perhaps my male friend sum things up the best. To know if she loves you or your money, you just have to go and die, and leave her your money. If she rejoiced, you are really screwed beside being dead.

A woman,if she seeks money in a relationship,and a guy seeking a beautiful face and a hot body,is actually not that bad according to science.Imagine us to be animals(actually,we are animals),the woman wants a mate that can provide for her young.The guy wants a beautiful mate to make sure his genes are pass down.So next time you see a materlistic woman or a guy goes for the face,pls understand them. They are only animals.

Another part of today’s discussion is Olympic medals and us. Seriously, who gives a damn about whatever medal we get? Not that I am racist, but it seems to me we are buying the medals. They played for Singapore due to their requirement for liquid cash, and we are happy with their medals. It is just a damn transaction.

It is like you paying another man to have a kid with your wife, and you feel damn happy about it, when you get a kid. No matter what happens, you are still screwed in one way or another, except for this situation, your wife is the one getting s…… you kinda get the analogy already.

Chocolates

2008-08-09T23:33:00.000-07:00

I do not have any source of inspiration for any more posts anymore.

Oh damn,am I finally turning normal?Well,since I am no longer emo,nor eccentric for the past 37.4 hours and 13 sec,I will post about one of my lifelong loves.

Chocolates,lucious delicious creamy mouth watering melt in your mouth and taste so good that you have the I-died-and-went-to heaven kinda expression on your face

There was a really rough patch in my life.I was bogged down with my studies,and many personal issues.Things were spiraling downhill for me a a extremely rapid rate.I was losing control of what was happening around me,and at the rate things were going,I was seriously considering sucide,but I am kinda afraid of pain.(okay,slightly exaggerated here,but you get the rough idea)

It was almost like PMS for guys,except that there isn't any blood thankfully.

I used to not believe in god......but....one day,I tasted my first piece of Godiva Chocolates.It was,really good.It almost moved me to tears.

The softness I felt when my world is disarray,the beacon of light in my state of confusion,were all gone in an instance.I no longer felt as if I am moving around in the dark with nobody to guide my way.The taste envoloping my mouth,was like the warm embrace of a mother and her child.The lingering taste of cacao long after the chocolate was consumed was like the faint taste of a lover's last kiss after a breakup.

The memory was good,yet....it was really sad.But it taught me,like all good things,bad things will come to an end also.

Therefore,in honour of that memory,I decided to eat chocolates everyday if possible.

2008-08-06T12:15:00.001-07:00

Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Extraversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity. trait snapshot:
social, outgoing, worry free, optimistic, upbeat, tough, likes large parties, makes friends easily, rarely irritated, open, enjoys leadership, trusting, dominant, thrill seeker, strong, does not like to be alone, assertive, mind over heart, confident, controlling, feels desirable, likes the spotlight, loves food, social chameleon, hard working, concerned about others

2008-08-06T12:13:00.000-07:00

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Religious	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Humanitarian	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Family drive	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Honor	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Thriftiness	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality test by similarminds.com

Can somebody please....

2008-07-31T05:25:00.000-07:00

As above,mind your own bloody business.

It is a rather disturbing trend I noticed that is happening around,and I don't deny that I have been part of the mob also.

But,not only that you are not helping,you make things alot worst by causing misunderstandings.For a moment of fun,of laughter,you could have screwed everything up.

As you all have done before.Sometimes there is still an uneasiness between me and my friend due to all your questions.2nd time liao leh friends,you all buay sian,I also kan pua sian.Sure,I can take some speculations now and then,but perhaps it is time for you guys to consider what the other party if feeling for once?You are giving someone else a rather difficult time,I can take the heat,sure,no kick for me,I can totally joke about it,but perhaps not the other person?

We all speak too much without thinking,for that we are all guilty of the charge of getting our friends or ourselves into hot water at one time in our lives at least,you guys are unaware that jokes can get overboard at times.

Some words,once spoken,can't be taken back lightly.I am royally screwed now,in more ways than one.I need to get myself Ben and Jerry now.bah.

I am not pissed,I am just .........kinda disappointed in everything else,how things has turned out,how your "fun" lead to my feeling of being screwed by Micheal Jackson with a baseball bat.And the best part is,not one of you is drunk.

Winnie the Pooh

2008-07-29T05:39:00.000-07:00

You know, something have been bugging me for years. I tried not to think about it, afterall, it was already more than 10 years since I last watched it. Yeap, I am talking about Winnie the pooh. I am really concerned about the sexual tendencies of a bear that is called Winnie(which kind of self-respecting dude calls himself Winnie?) and his preference of going around without any pants.

Look at his grin....

Doesn't he reminds you of somebody else? The honey is just to attract little boys to him, how many fragile hearts(or body) have been broken by this bear already?

And to make matters worse, this homosexual bear has a humble sidekick,like all good superheros.

What Kind of piglet wears pink colour spandex? You are going to have a hell of a time convincing me that he isn't gay, he is just purely metrosexual.
I do not even want to elaborate about the compromising position this piglet is in, and what does the words "Party Time" referring to here?

Thank god, like all good movies, there is a good versus evil,straight vs crooked. Tigger here is what every women out there hates their guy to be like, loud, noisy, rebelious, centre of attention, charming.
In simple words, he is kinda like a hippie.

One of my personal favourite character is Eeyore here. This donkey always look ultra sad. But you can't really blame him for that. 2 of his best friends are gay, and another one of his friend couldn't give a damn. He is the one that have to worry about safety for the ambigiously gay duo, and I bet with you, even the ribbon on his tail is placed there by them.

P.S.The author is not responsible for destroying the image of your childhood hero, and not liable for any damages you incurred due to horrors imprinted on your mental state for viewing this post.

He is also a supporter of Eeyore and Tigger. Those 2 rocks.

Random blog posting

2008-07-27T01:52:00.000-07:00

I toss and I turn in bed
Memories lose resurfacing in my dreams
Old repressed thoughts appear to be appearing through them
I feel an old stirring in my heart
Do I believe in something I thought I had discarded
Uncertainties in myself whenever I see you
Questions I asked but never answered
I walked the first step
Unsure of neither the second nor the end of the path
Will you give me your hand and pull me up with a smile
Or would you shake your head sadly and move along
Your biggest mistake is being beautiful
My biggest mistake is lacking balls
Are you who I think you are
Or are you what I know I want
Was it your looks that took my breath away
Or was it your laughter that stole my heart that day
You make my feel stupid
And I thank you for that

My true love,my one and only

2008-06-29T08:28:00.000-07:00

6 months ago, I walked away from a relationship that wasn’t beneficial for the both of us, and for my own selfish reasons, I never looked back. I never truly recovered at all, and the scar will forever be etched deeply in my heart, and as night comes, I still shed a tear or two for you. I am still reminded of you every time I smell the fragrance you always preferred to use, and I just want to turn back, and hopefully catch a glimpse of you through the crowds. Yet………I have to stop myself from doing so, cause I am afraid that it will be you.

I can’t run up to you again and just say hi? It is truly too painful, when all I wanted to do is to put my lips on you. When we used to be so close, now we are worlds apart. I can’t imagine you in the warm embrace of another man, my heart will be ripped to pieces if I ever see that. I hope you find somebody that can truly treat you better than I can, and even if my heart still pines for you, I am totally all right with it. Just that I hope that god doesn’t play a cruel joke on me and let me see that sight. He can’t be that cruel.

I have tried finding a substitute for you in my heart, and I went through them like I went through clothes, and I am not proud of it. I am sorry, sorry for trying to find a substitute for a place for you in my heart, and sorry to them. I should have realized by now that it just isn’t possible. There isn’t any substitute for you at all.

Every night when I close my eyes, I am reminded of the time we used to share, when I start to put my lips on you, slowly kissing my way down, tasting every inch. Are you asking me to forget all of that? Just like this? I can’t, I love you too much to do that, You are the one that make me believe that there is real love in the world, you complete me, in more ways than one.

The toughest thing that I had to do in my life was to leave you,
And the happiest moments of my life were spend with you.
As the fishes in the sea can’t be without water,
The birds in the air without their wing,
And the bees without their queen,
I cannot be without you.
Will you find it in a corner of your heart?
To forgive me one last time,
To walk with me,
Will you be with me again?

Every day,24 hours,1440 mins,86400 secs

Do you remember this song I promise to complete for you? I just finished it.

Every moment without you,

is a moment I can't fly,

every minute without you,

is a minute I can't smile.

Why did my love have to come so far,

to only have it smashed against the rocks?

(part 2)

I walked around in circles,

searching for my lost heart.

Where is it?Where's my heart?

Did I give it to you?

Have I not taken it back?

If it is in your hands,

will you promise to hold it tight,

and forever not let it drop?

It is crazy how much I love you baw kua. Please come back to me.I desire you,I crave you so much,it hurts.I will never give you up again,not for anything else in the world.

You make me fat,but you are worth the calories...............

The greatest discovery ever!

2008-06-28T11:55:00.000-07:00

You know, it is a very disturbing trend why girls always tend to like gay-sissy metrosexual dudes. It has taken me almost a decade to find out the reason. The reason was there all along, just that I was too blind to see it,

It was during a fateful chat with a certain friend online when we started a conversation on tomboys. I told her that most guys prefer a tomboyish girl rather than a girly girl providing that both girls look the same due to a few excellent reasons.
1) Tomboys don’t mind having fun or getting a little dirty compared to girly girls
2) Tomboys are usually a lot more independent, and guys like girls with that kind of attitude
3) Tomboys are usually more direct and frank with you

It was when I was explaining to her the reason why guys like tomboys when I started to think from the other direction. It is so SIMPLE!

Girls dig sissy metrosexual dudes for the following reason
1) They pay more attention to their fashion sense, but they are still sissies
2) They are emotional, and doesn’t go the strong guy routine of trying to keep everything to himself as to not let the girl worry, which means that girls really dig emotional wrecks
3) Sissies usually are also direct, but they have more tact when talking to girls, they won’t call u fat in your face, but they may make it sound nicer like “this dress just isn’t you” etc

So guys, that is the answer why we real men will always lose to homoerotic metrosexual sissies, and we can’t blame em, we can only blame ourselves, so always trying to act strong, and refusing to wear male g-strings but insist on wearing our own comfortable but crude boxers.

Surreal

2008-06-26T22:39:00.000-07:00

I didn't really know how to explain this word untill recently.

I mean,if you wanted me to give the meaning of it,it is easy,but to describe it,how does it feel like,is much harder.

However,an incident that occured to me give me the realisation about how to truely explain this word.It is when A vision of loveliness starts to talk about old men digging their noses and sampling their hard work like Hors d'œuvre,when a feeling of "HEY!This is totally weird" strike me.

Normally when you are walking a pretty girl home,what you see in movies is that there will be soft love ballads playing in the background right? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRLJjBnHEG4

For my situation,there was music in the background also,except that it was the theme song from a very famous television series. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDZBgHBHQT8

The best way to explain the feeling is like the feeling of knowing you just strike lottery and having a seagull take a crap on your head at the same time.You dunno if you should laugh or cry,or do both at the same time.

Ahhhhh,so this is how we explain the word Surreal.

P.S----The author of this blog just wanted to state that it was one of the most interesting dinner of his life....Wait,it is infact the most interesting dinner of his entire life,cause it was the first time he had somebody do a Leonardo da Vinci on him,and the masterpiece was a extremely interesting picture of a house with a mountain behind,with the sun shining brightly and snow melting,and it was done on a piece of napkin.

One of the greatest regret of his life is that he forgotten to take a picture of that piece of napkin cause one day,it could be worth millions.The food was fab,but more importantly,the company was interesting too.

A totally random and bullshit test

2008-06-22T08:06:00.000-07:00

Yeah,It has been a long time since I blog about anything, so today,I decided to carry out a really random test.

How different writing styles will lead to great time loss.

Normal style

Today I went out on a first year anniversary date with my boyfriend Peter,and the flowers he gave me were gorgeous,and we went out to Jack's place for some great steak! The ambience was fabulous,and after that,he drove me to the beach,when he give me the pulsh toy I always wanted,and started to serene me with a song.After that,we went to his house and make sweet love,and I awoke to breakfast in bed :)

Ah Lian Xiao Mei Mei style

t0D@y ,d3@rD3@R brnG m3 0uT FoR a HoTHot!! d@t3 l3h!!!! (By the end of this sentence,seriously,I spend more time than typing the whole paragraph in normal style).HuBbY PetePete Gv3s m3 so MANY PRETTY FLOWERS CAN! s0 pR3tTy.... :) lUbs lubS. w3 m@kan D3ar's faV0rt3 St3ak @nd wah,W@t3r so rUd3. __ to him. d3@r drv3 hs Evo to th3 beach can, @nd h3 so c0ol,spe3d all th w@y ,p0lc3 cAr aLs0 caN't c@tch .LOL!!!!!!D3@r gv3 m3 th3 h3llo KtTy I alw@yS WaNt3c,so Cut3 can!!h3 as0 sIng my FaV J@y Ch0u song,so niccccceeee. @ft3r that,d3ArD3aR Piak Piak w}th m3 wh0l3 nit3 lonG :p.

ILOVEUFOREVERDEAR!!!!!

The Aus style

Met Pete today,drank lots of beer,had sex.

I can tell u,typing in the Ah lian style nearly killed me,I swear,it kills lots of brain cells to type in that manner.I took about 40 mins to type it out.When in normal style,it is about 3 mins at max.

Ozzie style is however,short,sweet,and simple.

Normal
Difficulty: 8/10 relatively easy
Clearness: 10/10 tells the reader everything they need to know
Time taken: 8/10 Fast

Ah Lian
Difficulty: 1/10 Incredibly hard and tormenting to the typist,it is like killing yourself with small rocks
Clearness: 3/10 Hard to read without making the eyes bleed,too much lol and other useless info also.
Time taken 1/10 Takes far too long to type

Aus
Difficulty: 10/10 easiest
Clearness: 5/10 tells the reader too little
Time taken 10/10 super fast

A word by me: No Ah lian or normal girl or Austrilian babe were harmed in the production of this post,and similarity to your posting is only coincidental,and there wasn't any real sex involved at all. So pls dun sue me.

What I want to do

2008-06-10T08:14:00.000-07:00

1)Eat organic stuff with Grace-chan
2)Shake leg at kopitham with chor lor char bo Van
3)Eat $50 of ben and jerry
4)Go on exploration trip with my buddies
5)Date Jessica Alba,the super hot Milf,if not,date megan fox.

Confession

2008-06-09T10:09:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,I am really sorry for not blogging for a damn long time, I have a confession to make now. Actually, I have a son born out of wedlock. I am a unmarried father of a 6mths old baby. I know it is very sudden, and a majority of you couldn't accept it, that is why I never told you guys. This little bundle of Joy is named Roland Chua Wei Ming, and unfortunately, after he was borned, his mum told me she was going to go to genting highlands and didn't came back since. I am going to treat her as she is already dead.

Being a dad is a real interesting experience, I get to burp the baby, listen to him whine as I rub him against my stubble on my chin, feed him, change his diapers about once every 2 weeks, or was it suppose to be twice everyday? He really resembles me, as in, he got really huge ears, but he is extremely cute. Maybe I ought to do a DNA test.

You know what is the worst part about my wife running away to genting highlands? This little bugger keep on biting my nipples, it took 2 hours for him to realised that he is still hungry,and I got very very sore nipples. Thankfully, we managed to find a midwife for him, and happily, he is growing fat and well.

Okay, sadly, the baby ain't mine, he is too cute, and I got no wife.
No babies nor midwife were harmed in the production of this posting.

The irony of life.

2008-06-01T02:55:00.000-07:00

sorry guys,decided to delete this post to move forward.

R.I.P Nugget

2008-05-31T00:28:00.000-07:00

1 year plus ago, I adopted you. You used to be so tiny, and insanely cute. I decided to give you a name, "Nugget", cause you looked like a nugget of cuteness in my opinion. Intially, I remember you scuttling around the house, refusing to be pet by me.

But what really impresses me is when even when you are escaping for your dear life, you will run straight towards food. Your dedication to the munchies really amazed me. That is why I fed you with so much goodies during new year and christmas. Perhaps your obesity was due to my excessive feeding. But I know that you will never blame me.

Perhaps, I haven been a really good owner with you, trying to give you away, but deep inside, I really cared for you. I refused to give you to people that I don't think will be kind to you. I hope you will have the heart to forgive me for trying to give you away.

On the 30 of may, when for the first time in my life my heart was so troubled, I was hit with another blow. I saw you being listless, and stroked you. You felt cold to my touch, trembling slightly, and I saw how much weight you lose. I flipped you over and checked on you, and discovered that you looked extremely ill.

For one of the first time in my life, I started praying to god, that you will survive, and for the first time, I started to chat with you, pleading with you to survive at least. I stroke you for little over an hour, and I hoped that I gave you comfort in the last moments of your life.

On the 31st of may 2008, was the day I first shed tears over a pet.

I place your blanket next to you to keep you warm at night.Hopefully you reached a place with enternal sunshine.

I did have photographs of her being buried at the hill, before I am not going to paste it up, cause I rather you people remember her in life rather than death.

R.I.P Nugget.

Prawning

2008-05-17T10:15:00.000-07:00

Tried prawning, a fun yet pretty sick activity where you catch prawns wasting lot of money when you should have just buy them.

You stick a satay stick through the alive prawn and bbq them,they taste good,but I feel kinda sick eating them.

Ka-hate it or love it,you have to follow ka.

2008-05-17T09:09:00.000-07:00

There are times when I wonder why I could have been so dumb,

Why I could have done stuff I never would expect to do,

Then I guess the reason, was because it is you.

Every smile you make will make my legs turn weak,

Sometimes I wonder at the absurdity of everything.

Why did I move so fast? When I used to be slow.

Why did liquor that used to taste so bitter, started to taste so sweet to me now.

Nothing bites more than knowing I will never be the one,

but nothing hurts more than seeing you sad.

If there is anything I could ever do to make you smile, I would do it.

If only I could understand more of your sadness.

I can't give you everything you want, but if I could,

I will give you everything I can.

questions

2008-05-17T01:26:00.000-07:00

“Come right in and check out our magic mirror! See it for yourselves, the one and only magical mirror taken from the far realms of the East! Hear-ya! Hear-ya!” cried the sorcerer. A visit to the moving circus was ever so unique, every time it came to our town; there is something new to offer to us. I remember when last year it came; it introduced the incredible fat lady, which was, in a kinda way, a lady who was incredible for her girth. But that isn’t everything; she also has one of the most magnificent voices I heard in my life. One may weep and think of autumns and friends long departed when they hear her voice, the melody of her songs that sooth the throbbing heartaches in us.

Before they introduced her, they also introduced the albino boy; the lion face man, and a bunch of assorted “freaks”. But my favorite was sill the incredible fat lady. People were always laughing at her, yet, all she did was to laugh with them. She seldom sang, but when she does, she only sings sad songs. I wonder if it is what she truly felt at the moment, being ridiculed, mocked, laughed at...

Today was unusual, there was nothing new beside the magic mirror, and all of the freaks were still the same. I came with my clique, the usual guys and gals, and the magic mirror was the final stop we went to. We were tired of bobbing for candied apples and eating candy floss, or trying to cope a quick feel of the girls as we went into the haunted mansion, taking advantage as they press their bodies closer to us while laughing and dissing each other. Life is fun when you were with your friends. I love em, all of em, and I thought that I would live forever.

That was when we heard the boast of the sorcerer about his magic mirror, and that started to attract out attention.

“So dear sirs and ladies, mayhap you have a silver coin to test your mettle against my magic mirror?”

“What does your mirror do, my little magic man? Does it show me my reflection? Or is this mirror the one that snow white’s evil stepmother used to have?” I asked, with approval from the guys, and attracting giggles from the girls.

“Do you mock me sir? What this mirror does, is to show you what you truly are, and how ugly others can be in their heart, do you dare enter alone? If not, take back your words, and with a silver dollar, all may have a good look with me beside”

If there is anything I hate, that is looking bad in front of my friends, and with stupid encouragements like “you the big daddy!” and such ego-boosting words, I stepped into the tent cautiously to take a look at the mirror.

What happened next was totally unexpected, as instead of my own reflection, I saw someone who looks familiar, yet his face was horribly disfigured, and to my horror, I realized that I was looking at myself. I threw the can of coke I had in my hand after realizing that at the magic mirror, and the mirror shattered into a thousand separate pieces. This attracted all my friends and the sorcerer, who rushed in to check out the noise, and I almost swooned at the sight of them all.
All of them looks horribly disfigured with rotting teeth a crease filled faces. The worse of the lot was pretty Penny, a girl whom I have been flirting with great success for the past 3 months behind her boyfriend’s back. Her eyes were bloodshot, and her skin was covered with warts and liver spots, and her entire body was covered with scabs, and worst of all, her lips had a twisted sneer... She reached out to touch me, and I was repulsed at her touch, sweet Penny, who was always the girl-next-door, the one everybody like but only I know her true nature, the kisses we steal from each other when her boyfriend, one of my best friend wasn’t looking.

I pushed her to the floor and ran, and everywhere I go, I see the same monsters, not people. Everyone look disfigured, some more than the others, and some almost as bad as Penny. I draw curious stares wherever I ran, in a fanatic dash to get out of this circus. It was at this moment, I heard the incredible fat lady singing her song again, and I was drawn towards the voice. She looked different, she was glowing with radiance, and I thought that she never looked more beautiful in her life before. The rest of the guys from the freak show, also look perfectly normal compared to the disfigured crowd laughing at them.

It was then I realized that this mirror did show me the heart of everyone, the true faces of everyone. My friends, and me, we had ugly hearts. I can’t blame Penny for everything, because even though I was seduced by her, I allowed her to seduce me in the first place. People whom we all referred to as the freaks, even when they were laughed at, they held no ill intent towards others.

There is a reason why there isn't any ending to this story, cause I am never going to finish writing it. Forgive me for not checking the verbs,grammer,or making it sound fluent,cause no matter how fluent I wrote it,it will forever give me a taste of bitterness.
‘Every concept of truth has a huge hole in it’

MORE WORDS

2008-05-16T07:03:00.000-07:00

M
O
R
E

W
O
R
D
S

Random tale

2008-05-03T04:37:00.000-07:00

Some called they trannies, others called them born people born in the wrong body. Me, I call them monsters. They are like cancer cells, slowly spreading and taking over our body natural defenses, eroding and erupting like tumors all over. Initially, they were ridiculed, and easily separated from normal people. Slowly, as technology and science advance forward, they became harder to detect, prettier, accepted as part of our society, become teachers, models, and if that wasn’t bad enough, politicians. This is a story not about how they eroded modern society, but of how they took everything I had, my friends, my future, my hopes, and my sanity.

They are like the darkest creatures of the night, as their long fingernails caked with dried blood and dried semen; try to reach from the abyss to wrangle the neck of any unsuspecting males. Their howls in the night chills my very bone, as I recall the horrors of day pass, when I lose two of my best friends when we were bashing our way through changi village for supper. Their piteous cries haunted me till this very day, but there was nothing I could do, the trannies were too many. They started to mock at me, while having a deathlike grip on my crying friends, and they mock at me with their fake breasts, and started to sneer at me while shaking their hips in a thrusting motion.

I howled fleeing the accursed place, the mocking stares, and the disbelieving looks from my brothers, my friends, the two men I betrayed in my own weakness.

I have never forgiven myself till this day. I didn’t believe in god anymore, who could? Do you believe in god? If yes, can you tell me why he let my friends get viciously raped and murdered by a gaggle of trannies? What was it that I am going to tell their grieving widows? “Sorry, madam, your husband just got sexually abused and murdered by a bunch of marauding transsexuals.” Do you think this would cut it?

I didn’t even attend their funerals. February 29th, the irony of everything, cause this was the day Lionel and Wen died. It was supposed to be one of the happiest days of Lionel’s life; he had just registered his wedding with his girlfriend of 3 years that day, and had planned to get married next year on the same day. He was joking that at least he only had to buy a wedding anniversary gift once every 4 years. Now he would never be able to get another gift again.

<---Lionel, when he was caught, he was like a fish flopping around on a boat without water, only more tragic looking

Wen, my best friend, and all I can remember of him now was his fingernails digging into the hard granite floor, bleeding from his feeble attempts, fanatically trying to stand up, never giving up, even when his clothes were being ripped apart and fingernails were raking his bareback. He nearly did it. I could have reached out and grasp his hand, buy him some time and hit a few trannies. I didn’t. Fear stayed my hands. I saw him stood up, and nearly getting away with his final spurt of strength. But alas, dozens of roving hands groped his body from behind, and his feeble cries grew softer with every meter I ran to distance myself.

<------Wen's cry of fear and pain when he was torn apart physically and emotionally.

A few of the monsters detached themselves from raping my buddies, and started to chase after me, crying out to me to stay and play and shouting out “Man-meat, Man-meat!” What was apparent from their bloodshot eyes, their lust-filled faces, and the saliva coming out of the corner of their mouth in a twisted sneer that if I ran any slower that day, I would only suffer the same fate as my departed friends.

<-----Me shouting for my dead buddies.

I had to take vengeance for my buddies no matter what the cost will be, even if I died in the process, as it is the only way I can make peace with myself. I had to find another one of my friends to help me. Daniel, who was one of our group, thankfully away on a vacation that fateful day. Without any hesitation, he agreed.

Both of us tendered in our resignation letters the next day, and embarked on a journey of self-discipline and training. We hit the gym three times a week, and ran 20 kilometers every other day. We also enrolled in Judo, karate and boxing lessons at night. Since firearms were outlawed in our society, we started to train with makeshift weapons, knifes, batons, and motovol cocktails. (A homemade firebomb)

<------Daniel's last video clip of his will to his beloved and family.Who was to know that it would come in handy?

After 4 years, we were ready. We set out on a journey of no return, preparing to kill those monsters by becoming monsters ourselves. February 29th was the day they died, and February 29th will be the day we remember them.

We started to make a din, and the trannies in changi village saw us. They smile coyly and asked if we wanted to play with their boobies. Daniel shows his middle finger, and I threw two of the cocktails. The fireworks were magnificent, the best I ever seen in my life, as more than half a dozen of the unisex creatures scream in burning agony, while the rest writhed around on the floor in their feeble attempt to douse the flames.

We ended the miserly of each of them by systematically burgeoning each one in the face, and even then they did not stop trying to stroke our buttocks. One of them managed to touch Daniel’s groin and he rewarded that piece of filth by crushing its head with his heel. What happened next was totally unexpected.

The remaining Trannies after hearing the shouts and cries, rush towards us. At first, it was 2 or 3, then in groups of 4 or 5, and finally their last group arrived with more than 10 freaks of nature in it. Both of us were driven into a blood rage, and I am pleased to say that our training came in handy, until 3 of them pounced on Daniel. They drag him to their group, and the raping began. Once they started to rape him, all the remaining trannies ignored me, as to them, raping a man is similar to blood attracting sharks. Daniel asked me to do it. I did what I had to.

I throw two more motovol cocktails into their midst, and killed what was left of our group of 4 in the process. I killed myself that moment I had to kill my friend.

This is my last paragraph, and if you find it, I am probably dead already, as I plan to commit suicide. Please do not let them take over us.

The end. ( This story was written one fine day when I got really really bored and saw the news about ronaldo visiting trannies.In no way or another,do I aim to offend anyone with this story,it is just a spark I can't get rid of)

Some random crap

2008-04-21T07:41:00.000-07:00

Your view on yourself:You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
(Quite true leh,or perhaps this just mean that both parties will hate my guts)

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
(Bloody True,if they are too childish,I can't take it.I don't mind a good looking girlfriend lar,but decent one can already,you want to give me a pretty one I also don't mind.This part is rather true,except for the last part,attractive my ass)

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
(Ambigious here.I never believe in fate/love at first sight etc,except when it comes around and bite you in the ass)

The seriousness of your love:Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
(Wahha,this is the dumbest shit I have seen all day.Being frank is the stupidest way you can do stuff,cause I am generally too frank)

Your views on educationEducation is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
(Bor pian,unless my dad is Bill Gates)

The right job for you:You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
(Well......I always wanted to be a gundam pilot,or a food critic.......but yeah,I think I will settle with being a entrepruener if possible)

How do you view success:You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
(Nothing will stop me from trying,except perhaps the lady of my dreams)

What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
(True,I am also afraid of losing my sense of humour one day)

Who is your true self:You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
(That means that when sitting down,I act as if I got a lighted firecracker shoved up my asscrack)

Link here ----http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

One of those days.

2008-04-11T05:51:00.000-07:00

Ahh, I got to blog about my life for once, cause it is so damn screwed up. You probably heard about people talking about the most unlucky day they ever had? You probably think they are freaking drama queen or something. Goddamn it, today, I am going to be the drama queen.

Friday, April 11, 2008 is an excellent day, cause it just prove to me what I have suspected all along; which is God hates me. Barely 1 hr into the day, I check my results at midnight, and discovered to my horror, the first paper I failed at SIM. In the morning, when I am going to school, I stood near Sim bus stop with a few buddies, and while waiting for another friend, I felt a pain in the sole of my foot. I thought that I step on a nail or something, and surprise surprise, there is a FUCKING BEE THERE. How the FUCK a FUCKING BEE managed to get under my feet and poke me, I will never know. But I hope the damn bee dies a slow and painful death, but sadly, after the sting get injected into me, when the bee pull out, it has already disemboweled itself. Pity.

Study my notes in school, discovered that I dunno a single crap about anything, went for lessons, didn't managed to grab the notes, photocopy notes, discovered that I photocopy an extra set. Dinnertime come, couldn't get anyone out for a meal.
Went home, and happily, my handphone is discovered to be spoiled.
Couldn't get through to a pal, and when he called, I just miss him, and he just went home, and I am already back home.

Terrific day, lets hope that I used up a year of bad luck.

The pro-gay post

2008-04-02T16:40:00.000-07:00

I got something to declare here people....and noooo,it is not what you are thinking,I am not coming out of my closet or something.Hope that doesn't mean disappointment for any homos out there.

That aside,seriously,I have been known for my anti-faggots sentiments in the past,but that lead to many misunderstandings.People thought that I hate gay people.You guys are GODDAMN awfully wrong.I love GAY PEOPLE,espcially Gay man.not in that kind of way you are assuming right now,so please refer back to the first paragraph.

<----What is there not to like about two homosexual celebrities hugging and caressing each other?Everybody love brokeback mountain didn't they?Except in brokeback,it is two rugged handsome cowboys frisking each other.In this picture,it is a bald man,and a queer with too much hair and a weird micheal jackson glint in his eyes that says "Hohum,sweet buttcheeks!"

The one great reason to be gay is you get to hug Joanna Peh without being slapped.The only time I could take a picture this close with her is when I take a picture beside a poster of her.

<--See?Another picture of a fag hugging a beautiful woman.Only disadvantage is that if you turn gay,you can't sleep with them,but you can sleep with old bald feminine guys.

<---The 6 million dollars classical gay man look. Very gay,very nice, with a queer knowing everything smile.One thing about gay man is that they are usually more handsome than straight man,so if a guy is too fit and handsome,80% of the time he is gay.

So ladies,if your man starts to pump iron every week,it may just be an excuse to ogle cute secondary school guys at the gym for them.

Don't give em a excuse,let em get fat,makes em straight.

Lets hope the only bonding this two guys are doing is over a beer.But with the way the dude in blue is holding the bottle and blowing into the funnel,I am not so sure. You know,being drunk and near the sea on a boat,may lead to deranged gay fantasies for both of em like "Sailor boys blow the horn/polish the funnel",you never know.....

Last but not least,the greatest reason to LOVE gay men is that since they are gay,they won't chase the girls,leaving em for the rest of us.SO for the love of god,please let there be more gay men in Singapore.

Amen.

Sorrow

2008-03-26T04:40:00.000-07:00

Sorrow is better than laughter,
ALthough it may sadden your face,
but it sharpens your understanding.

A random tale.

2008-03-18T00:13:00.000-07:00

How long had it been since their plane had an engine failure and was forced to land in the Gobi desert? Dave had no idea, he stopped counting when it was over a week, and gotten too depressing for him to continue doing so. Of their plane of 28 passengers, less than 10 had survived the botched landing. Only Dave, his wife Celeste, an old couple that had long retired and a newly orphaned 9 year old boy named Jimmy were lucky enough to escape from the fumes. It was already a miracle that the kid managed to have the sense to follow them through the fumes when he discovered that his mother was unconscious. Initially, the boy wanted to seek help from them to save his mother, but seconds after they got out of the plane, a series of explosions rocked the plane, and they had to forcefully drag the kid away from the burning wreckage. They managed to find a huge rock that had a hole in it for shelter, which was lucky for them, or else they would not survive perhaps, 3 days.

The next day, Dave had to make his way back to the wreckage in order to salvage some food and water for them to survive as long as possible. He went there alone, as he was the least hurt, and maybe had only a couple of fractured ribs compared to the rest of them. The smell of human flesh burning assaulted his nostrils, and everywhere was the remains of what had been the passengers of Flight 907. He noticed with discomfort at the amount of carrion birds around that area, having a feast of their life. After finding a haversack to carry all the food he found, he saw the burned out remains of a little girl, holding on to a small cartoony hello kitty bag. A prickle of tears was forming at the side of his eyes, as he remembered this was the same girl, that is no more than 6 years old, with her hair tied in pigtails that was running around the aircraft, offering everyone a stick of pink colour pocky from her bag.. Grimly, he set upon his task of taking her bag from her shriveled charcoal hands that was small, but forever locked in a embrace with her favourite bag. He took the remaining pocky packets, and started to curse his task and himself, and after reliving other corpse of usable stuff, he started to dig with a makeshift shovel of the airplane wing. He dug for hours, not stopping for a drink till he was certain that the hole was big enough to cover up all the bodies from the carrion birds.

Celeste wasn’t doing so badly. Except for the fact that her leg got broken and she was hurting too much to move, and the old couple were hurt the most badly. Peter and Mary were heading on their 2nd honeymoon when they took this ill-fated flight, and when they escaped the burning wreckage of the plane, Peter felt a piercing pain in just below his ribs. He wasn’t too badly stunned by the 9cm long glass halfway piercing through his belly，as he was more concerned with his wife of the past 50 years, whose head was bleeding badly, and losing consciousness as fast as she is losing blood from various open wounds. Peter wasn’t optimistic about her survival as he knew back from his days an army medic in the 2nd world war that his wife was a goner if she wasn’t send to the hospital in a day or two.

He was right; she died the day after the crash, and not before opening her eyes for one last time. They had a final hug, a moment of their last kiss, and as he held her hands, he feels her finger going limp, and his tears flowing down his cheek. He was almost holding her for an hour, when Dave returned. Both of them buried his wife, with her wedding ring still on her hands. The medical supplies Dave brought back with him wasn’t much, but he had what was vital to Peter. He had sleeping pills.
That night, when everyone was sleeping, Peter swallowed 30 sleeping pills. As he feels the drowsiness overcoming him, he saw his dear wife Mary, no longer looking old, but looking young and pretty again, her arms wide open with light enveloping her whole body, walking towards him to embrace him.

He held her tightly and left with her. He will never let her go away alone again. The next day, Celeste was the first to wake up, and saw the body of Peter hugging the mound of sand they covered his wife with, and knew that he is already gone. Her tortured sobbing woke the rest of them up, and together they mourned the old man that they just knew a couple of days ago, but as a result of their unusual circumstances, they bonded with him just like old friends would.

End of Part 1

Ah,interesting thing I received in my email

2008-03-17T05:33:00.000-07:00

1 Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with more than 6 guys..you're a HOE)<----I have no idea about this,I never have friends that are sluts,or perhaps I am just unfortunate/or fortunate enough to not know any sluts.If you know a slut that you think that I would like to know,you can ask her to call me,toll-free at this number,1900-Alvinchua.Thanks!

2 Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.<-------- :( Painfully obviously true

3 Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.<------Yeah balls!A girl smiling sweetly is sweeter than chocolate anyday.

4 Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him <----very true too,I have came across a number of great idiots,and me,myself,and my alter-personility is included.

5 Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest.<--------I hate it,espcially if the person I like knew that I like her.It doesn't help when all her ex-bfs are all bastards.But girls being girls get attracted to assholes like moth to a burning flame.

6 Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.<------ mmhmm,I think this goes both ways,girls need to be reassured too.

7 Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.<-----This one I am still neutral about it,I tend to think that a relationship doesn't mean that one cannot have good friends of the opposite gender,unless it is very obvious that the dude is interested in your gf,things is going to get messy when the shit hits the fan.

8 Guys get jealous easily.<------------Quite true,but Guys like to act indifferent but inside,they are burning up faster than butter melting in hot sun.

9 Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.
<-----Yeah,definately true,but guys being guys love to go for that macho shit.Bor pian,since we are guys,we have to be the pillar of support in the relationship,if we are an emotional wreck,how can we be there for the girls?We got to be strong,cause that is the mark of all great men.

10 Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.<------------Wah piang eh,this is freaking true.This is one heck of a way to torture us guys you know,sometimes guys aren't that smart as you think they are.We do not have telephathy.

11 Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.<--------Oh yeahhhhhhhhhhhh,sometimes you don't even know what the fug are you talking about.

12 A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.<---Part of the act,not all the girls the guy teases is the girls he likes,but you can be sure he will tease the girl he like in a haphazard way.Kinda like a baby elephant taking his first steps.

13 Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.<---A real man not only loves you,he wants to protect you no matter what,in whatever situation,but I think that alot of women are capable of great love too.I remember a certain case here,about a china guy who was captured by the chinese army,as he have a kid already,and his wife was pregnant again,they were trying to force him to disclose where his wife is,and going to make her have a abortion.He didn't sing,no matter what they did to him,beatings etc,and in the end,they castrated him by ripping his privates off.He died from bleeding without uttering a single thing,thus losing his own life,but protecting his wife and kids.

14 Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.<------Sometimes I think for days even,even when years after an incident had happened,I could still be thinking over what might or may not have happened.

15 Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.<------mmhmm,I tend to think otherwise here,it is just that sometimes the girls have no logic at all,and we need another person without logic to be able to understand her.It takes a confused person to know another confused person.A girl to know a girl.

16 When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."<---------Not so sure about this,I think girls are the same too.But perhaps when a dude went so far to ask you to leave him alone,he just want to protect you from whatever troubles he is facing.

17 If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.<---Yeap,wake up and listen sometimes please,even to jokers that suddenly become as serious as if they are at a funeral.

18 If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.<-----Yeah,the lengths we take to avoid a uncomfortable situation.You won't like it if you are sitting on a bed of pins right,that is what it felt like.To smile when your heart is being smashed to pieces by a hammer is actually remarkably hard.It is easier to wrestle a Phython as I know that feeling.

19 When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.<----mmhmm,I think I prefer them to be normal and humble,not to think that they are the most beautiful creatures to ever grace the earth since the unicorn was found.But,when a guy sincerly tells you from his heart that he thinks you are beautiful,he probably isn't lying,it is up to you to filter to silver-tongue snakes from the truefull.Ps.I probably joke around quite alot of times,saying that the girls around me are all very pretty,and girls may not take it too seriously.But true beauty could be referring to your character and not necessary appreances,and perhaps,I really meant what I say,word for word.Unless you know that your character totally sucks,and you look like a wild boar in a skirt,you should know it in your heart if I am lying or telling the truth.

20 When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.<-----Okay,I know alot of girls are going to think "What a crocker of shit this is,he is definately thinking about sex,the lusty toad!".Well,truth is,yeah,sometimes we do think of something like that now and then,but if we don't,we are not really guys right?But most of the times,we are just thinking how cute you are,we don't think that kind of thoughts with girls we are around,but only when a sex siren that looks like Jessica Alba walk pass us.Remember.95% of the time,it is your smile,your eyes,your hair,your lips we are looking at.And it is rather possible that we are just daydreaming at random,and totally innocent except of the fact we are looking at your directing when our brains shut down.

21 Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.<----yeah of course,I have never seen a girl that can punch harder than me,and who would like a gorilla?Sadly,I seldom come across girls that cook better than me,not due to the fact that I am a great cook.Infact,my stuff is just borderline edible,it is just that the girls now normally can't cook.Most guys I know are better cooks,but occassionally I come across a guy that can screw up maggie mee every single time.Just that I come across more girls that screw up cooking only.

22 A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.<----Yeah,but we love playing the macho strong man role.I think you girls would prefer this than a emotional wreck that requires you to pacify him every 2 mins.

23 Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.<---Ah,the ice queen routine,strike fear to me not unlike running out of good food at home.

24 Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.<-----Yeah,We are trying to figure out how their brains work,given another 5327931 years,we may crack the code!

25 Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.<----Harsh but true,but sometimes we can't blame the girl,the guys insist on trying all the same,if they think the girl worth the effort.

26 If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don't say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more. Tell them that you aren't interested in a relationship and they will respect you.<-----When you ask me in 5327931 years,I will tell you if this sentence here is true.I am still wondering.

27 Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.<------Dammit,bloody true.I am fortunate enough to be enbroiled in this situation before.It is due to the fact that perhaps,you just want to know,why she thinks that way,and the more you learn about her,the more attracted you get.Perhaps this is similar to the "bad boys attract girls" theory.you just want to know everything about them,and be able to make them smile happily,no matter what is the cost to you.

28 When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible<---Yeah,This is totally true,but many times,nobody knows of his sacrifices,just that he himself knows about it.Even another min chatting with you on the phone,msn,or outside,no matter how tired he is from work,school,everything,another min with you is worth the hour spend waiting for you.

Of course the above stuff is only my views alone,they could be shared by some of the guys,or some people may totally disagree with what I stated.But for me at least,I like to think that they are 100% true.

If your mum and me were drowning,who would you save first?

2008-03-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

If your mum and me were drowning,who would you save first? This is the question every single guy out there fears the most from his girlfriend. There is no really right or wrong answer.You can't say that you will ignore your mum totally just to save her,cause that would mean that you are a bloody callous bastard who does not care for own mother who work so hard to bring him up.

I have pondered about this question on behalf of my fellow men everywhere,and I am pleased to bring you some answer that I deemed were enough to satisfied most girls.

1)I am going to save both of you,even if it cause me my life,cause both of you are just too dear for me to live without either one of you. <---When saying this,please be as stern as possible,and for best effect,have a couple of tears coming out,pinch yourself if you must to make your eyes water.

2)I will save whoever is closer to me.<-----this is very risky,but it works well if you are studying economics or buisness.

3)I will save whoever weight the least.<---------For the love of god,if you use this,you are a bloody idiot,but if you think she is abit too fat,and want to her to lose weight,this could be a great idea to kill 2 birds with one stone,unless she manages to kill you first.

4)I will only save my wife,before I save my mum.<-----This question requires skill to answer.Why?Cause you didn't say that you will save her first,you are saying that you will put your wife infront of your mum,but that also means that you will save your mum before your gf.If she complains,just tell her that,she just have to marry you in order for you to save her first.

5)bor pian,say you can't swim lor........................

6)From buddy neo,whose excellent suggestion was to die with both of them,as both of em are too important to him.Once again,if you can force some tears out for effect,it would be perfect.

I hope I managed to solve this question for most of my buddies out there,if it backfires,don't kill me please.

Questions to ponder

2008-03-16T11:28:00.000-07:00

IF a person is blind from birth,and have never seen before anything in his or her life,is she able to understand beauty?Even if she is one of the prettiest woman in the world,how can she understand her own beauty even if everybody praise her?

If a person try his or her best to do something,even when we know their effort is futile,but even so,they refused to give up,do we admire them for their spirit,or do we laugh at them for being stupid?

Sometimes in life I wonder,why must we try so damn hard to prove ourselves,what for?If in the end we can't be happy with what we achieved,it is still the same old crap again.

But if we don't try our best,we may as well give up on life itself.

So never give up till the fat lady sings.

Guidelines to become a real man

2008-03-15T07:46:00.000-07:00

If you are a frequent reader of this blog,you will remember that one of my objectives of this year is to become a man of men.Hench,I decided to come out with a set of guildlines for myself and other aspiring dudes,namely my pal Kelvin Cheng Xin De.

1)A man must not break his promise to another girl no matter what,he must try his hardest to fufill his obligations to the lady unless there is an emergency or something.One acceptable reason is that his house is on fire,and he have to run home to save his family and his pet.

2)A man must never ever,I mean,ever break a woman's heart under any circumstances.It is not ethical.It ain't right.

3)A man must never smoke infront of any woman,or children,or old people.If he is a smoker,he must smoke in a corner away from them.If the woman is a smoker,this rule can be ignored,but preferably not.

4)A man must be strong,for he must not only protect himself,he carries the burden of protecting those he love around him.

5)A man must never betray his friends,his buddies no matter what,nor try to steal from his buddies,their girlfriends.Such a man,is someone not worth knowing,cause for his own selfishness,he destroy his friend's happiness.

6)A man must learn how to cook,as well as possible,in order to cook for his future gf,as now most girls can't cook at all.This rule is for practical reasons really.

7)A man must always give up his seat to others that require it more,like old people,pregnant woman,crippled young boys etc....one reason is that a pregnant woman is 2 person,while you are only one person.Do the maths.

However..........in situations when the woman is kinda fat and pudgy,and you have no idea if she is pregnant or just very fat,you must try your best to pretend very well and give up your seat.If there is a chance that you may offend her instead,it is wiser to sit in this situation.

8)A man must always go to the aid of a damsel in distress no matter what,even if it is 2 or 3 am at night.It is your duty.Too bad for you that you are born a man.

9)A man MUST NEVER EVER in whatever situation,use physical force on a woman.This is the worse of the lot.I deplore this sort of behavior.

10)A real man,must never ever wear a scarf in singapore.Cause if you does so,you are definately a homosexual.Refer to the post below on how to earn money if you belong to the scarf wearing catergory.

11)A man will try his best for a woman he love no matter what.Even if that requires him to be extremely stupid,he has no choe,cause love is a mark of stupidity anyway.

Even if the woman requires him to give up on baw kwa,or chocolates.or anything else,he should do what she requires of him,for his love.That is why I say all men are dumb.

If you peeps have anything to add to the list,feel free to let me know.

The money post

2008-03-07T04:38:00.000-08:00

In recent times,I have been thinking rather carefully on what I am going to do with my future.Here I am studying a degree,for what purpose?It took me a very long period to conclude that the reason why I am studying,is to achieve more wealth for the future.It is therefore my objective to get as much cash as possible before my retirement and I want to retire early,meaning that I must have lots of cash in the fastest time possible.

After considering my other options beside studying and becoming president of a bank of something,a process which will definately take more than 10 years,I discover 3 excellent methods of garnering oddles of moolah.

1)Rob a bank
2)Strike lottery.

Since I do not want to go against the law,and striking lottery has a chance of 1 in 8 million,I can only look to my 3rd method,which will be the most effective.......

3)I got to seduce micheal Jackson and force him to molest me so I can sue his pants off(no pun intended)

<<<---You see him in this picture,his eye filled with desire for tender,succulent,young strapping boys.....

<<----He beckons you to come forward To first find Wacko Jacko, we must first head to Neverland when he was last seen......

However,there is great danger due to the fact that neverland is call neverland as once you go in.......you never come out. Or at least,come out unmolested.

<<<-----This comic describes the ordeal and the moral dillema I am about to face,the biggest decision of my life.Do I let him molest me for 20 million US,or do I reach over and pull his nose off?

Alas................I discovered a very unfortunately loophole in my elaborate scheme,I have to be under the age of 10 first,before Jacko will even look at me,and I have not been 10 yrs old for a damn long time already.

<----------This Post has been mark with a seal of approval by pedobear. Hmmmmm,if all else fails.............I can still sue him,for not sexually abusing me,leading to me becoming depressed that I wasn't abused as I was overage.I am going to sue him for discrimmination.

Wish me luck!I will treat you all Ice cream and baw kwa with my new found millions!

The secret of weight loss

2008-03-05T10:00:00.000-08:00

Haha, all my friends should know which kid I am right? The fat boy with specs.Super retro pic,kudos to Zhenglian for getting it.

Ah,the journey down the route of weight loss is a hard one.All of people have been asking me how I achieved it.

<<<-------------This is my secret! Eat one pill after each meal three times daily!

However,beware of the side effects......................

A really whinny post

2008-03-04T10:51:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: This post will totally be about stuff that really pisses me off,so if you can take it,piss off too,thanks.

Well.....first of all,I am extremely hungry when composing this post,and extremely sleepy too.But to the heck with it.

First thing I am super pissed off with is why the heck does good tasty food always does great damage to your health? Food like bbq chicken wing, bbq pork, cheesecake, luncheon meat, chocolate fondue etc. It makes one so mad that one become as pissed off as a chicken squabbling over the last grain of corn with other chickens.

actually,scrape that thing above.I think having just a sparse meal and less than 3 hrs sleep in the last 24 hrs is doing alot to my emotional state.

Infact,I feel like I am having my pms mood now,which is not really the political correct thing to say due to the fact that
1)I am not female
2)I don't look like a girl
3)I am probably going to piss off all the girls that read my blog.

But this is true,I suddenly feel a sense of enlightenment in my pms mood state,no wonder girls can use pms as an excuse! It is really a very delicate yet emotional moment in my life when I feel like destroying everything around me,and consume every bit of chocolate that I can find,cept i can't find any.

I can't think straight at all.I feel like butter spread over too much bread.Spread too thinly.

Maybe it is the lack of sleep that lead to a couple of really stupid decisions tonight.I frankly regretted being so bloody hasty without thinking straight,but I never regretted being frank. (I know this part is confusing,but bear with me,I got pms now,and I got a right to be confused)

I sincerly hope that whatever damage I did today would be forgiven on the account of me having really bad pms.If you received any sms or msn message that seems to be written rather hastily,forgive my stupidity.

Damn the PMS.

The perfect smile

2008-03-04T09:36:00.000-08:00

A face to brighten up your day

The peeeeerfect jap egg tamago

Weiner I fried in very "healthy" olive oil

Combination makes a great hearty breakfast for champions

Girls dig sissy guys

2008-02-22T18:31:00.000-08:00

I have been remarkably upset recently due to a lack of baw kwa so I decided to come with a totally random and interestingly totally gay post.

<-----A prime example of a buff but sissy looking dude,and most of the time,they prefer men to girls......

As you guys probably know,my theory of girls liking Ah bengs have been met with both positive and negative comments from my friends.Well,those that agreed with me,congrats for seeing the light,those that disagreed with me,usually are girls that refuses to admit the cruel truth.

Well,another interesting thing I usually noticed about girls is they like a guy,who doesn't really look like a guy at all.Sometimes,the guy look even prettier than them,but the girls love it!

Somehow,the trend is getting to be extremely disturbing for me,cause I am a 100% cannot look gay kinda dude,even if I shave my leg hair.

<----------If I turn sissy,I would look just as great as this man over here.

I have not done enough research into this disturbing trend yet to write a 10 page report,but I do know one thing for sure.Next time I get a son,I am going to start him young,turn him into a true-pink hot gay sissy that is definately still hetrosexual.That is bound to get him many pretty gfs.

Hot in pink,for you and me.
The sad part is I can't tell him from a girl.

weird,something went wrong somewhere.

2008-02-12T06:30:00.000-08:00

My most tragic post ever.........

2008-02-10T21:15:00.000-08:00

I have to admit to you guys,I am really hopelessly in love.

Last night was the same,as soon as my lips touch her,I had to lick every inch of her body.I was consumed with desire,and I know I am committing one of the deadly sins,but I can't stop myself at all.It is like a burning passion in my heart threatening to overwhelm my entire body.Every day,24 hours,1440 mins,86400 secs,I am constantly thinking about her only.

I have no idea why,but she is a attraction to me like no other girls ever would be.I know it ain't healthy to me at all.But,I can't stop myself no matter what,when I see her,I just want to bring my lips as close to her as possible.....

If I got to describe her,I have to say she is the sweetest thing ever.....and her frangrance is like no other at all....

I love her with all my heart,I really do.But sadly,all good things must come to an end.

I cry a bucket of tears today,cause today is the day I will detached myself from all my emotional attachment to her,for both our sake......sorry.I really can't stand looking at you anymore,cause the more I look,the more i just want to put my hands and lips on you.

Whenever I hold you,I can never bear to let you go. To give you up,is like asking me to give up breathing air,every moment spend without you,I feel suffocated.

I am sorry.

I am hopelessly in love with baw kua,but unfortunately,the calories aren't really that healthy and it is taking a toll on my wallet too.

I love baw kua,but the love affair between me,baw kua,and fats is a constant struggle with fats always gaining the upperhand.

P.s.If you believe in fate my dearest baw kua,you know that time won't really seperate us too long,I will become a better man for u next year during this time again.

I got to stop talking about giving my dearest baw kua up cause tears are threatening to cloud my eyes again.

Every moment without you,
is a moment I can't fly,
every minute without you,
is a minute I can't smile.
Why did my love have to come so far,
to only have it smashed against the rocks?

This is a part of the song I wrote for you.....when I see you again,I will sing the rest of my song.I won't say goodbye forever,I will just say it for this moment.

I will always miss the sweet salty taste of the one last kiss with you.

C'est La Vie.................

Random rants

2008-02-10T20:54:00.000-08:00

1)I have a overwhelming issue with gay guys going to safra to swim,can u guys let me know wtf u have to act so overwhelmingly gay at a swimming pool?Goddamn it,I had to watch with morbid fansination as 2 gay guys started to stroke each other's abs at the damn swimming pool.Needless to say,I packed up and went home.

AND FUCK! I see a GODDAMN BLOODY USED CONDOM INSIDE THE GENTS.WHY THE FUCK IS A CONDOM DOING INSIDE A SAFRA SWIMMING POOL.WTF,just get a hotel room or something.

2)Pics of my exploration buddies

All damn yandao dudes

Obviously,this is a rather embrassing moment and picture in my life.

A very kinky desmond doing very kinky stuff to a unwilling tank.

Opps,Saw this only after we all climbed the damn tank.

The tale of Archie the monkey that was retarded enough to shoot himself in the foot.

2008-02-07T23:14:00.000-08:00

The hero of our tale today, is a simian, a extremely normal monkey who everyone call Archie or just plain A for short. A is a very unique monkey, due to his fondness for new year baw kua. As you know, one don’t really buy baw kua all year long, so on new year, it is almost the only time when A can manage to beg some baw kua from his zoo keepers.

This new year, it is frankly no exception from any previous year, except this year, Archie discovered that the zoo keepers have purchased a brand of top quality baw kwa that has a such a delicious smell that his saliva is drooling every single second. Being only a primate, he didn’t manage to eat as much baw kua as he would have loved to have. And seeing that delicious box of baw kua, A is very convinced that this year, every single bit of the baw kua would be devoured by his zoo keepers, and no bwa kua would be left for his consumption this year.

Since greed got better of him, this year, the stupid monkey decided to steal the whole box for himself without even thinking if that is the best course of action.

I will not go into details here, lets just say that he took some drastic measures, feint death, throw a temper, bit his zoo keepers etc and got shot by them as they thought that he is rabid but the reason why he was foaming at the mouth is cause he was so damn eager to get the baw kua into his mouth.

What a stupid bloody idiot this damn monkey is! If he had acted like a normal monkey like the previous year, he could have still gotten a few tasty morsels of baw kua and continue eating baw kua every year.hehe whole box for himself without even thinking if that is the best course of action for his consumption this year.

Moral of the story is too much baw kua can cloud your judgement and make you bloody damn stupid.

nil

2008-02-06T03:44:00.001-08:00

nil

The day I ran with a camera and 2 bags in my hands.

2008-02-03T18:12:00.000-08:00

The 3rd of feb is a historical landmark in my very very exciting life indeed.It was the first time I try to chase down a movie/singing star.That dude's name is Jay Chou.As you guys probably know,I am no fan of him,but unfortunately I was with 3 other fanatics.

I was very very impressed with his legions of fans,cause I thought I was a hardcore guy towards food,but they were more hardcore in chasing down Jay Chou.One very pretty lady I know even ran in her high heels,after which she took em off and ran in her bare feet.You gotta be impressed at that!

I managed to get some random pictures of Jay,but it is a pity I was pushed away by his guards.It is a sore temptation indeed not to push away his guards and wrestle Jay Chou to the ground so I can take his pictures,not for my sake,but the sake of others that liked him so much.

The fun part about chasing a star is that it is like a constant chess game,the chasers trying to play mind games with the security teams,and the remarkable demand on your top physical health.Next time he comes,I will get together a crack team of aunties that are fans of him,cause aunties are the best in getting what they want by hook or by crook.

Aunties would be great in a rubgy match!

The only low point in my plans is that they aunties may be hardcore enough to strip the poor dude naked.

Heck,I will just use em as my last resort special technique and sell...ahem,I mean give the pictures of Jay Chou in the buff to my good pals Celine and Gaylord Mok.

The tale of a chubby pig in a wig,and the chummy friends she meet.

2008-01-27T23:21:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time,extremely long ago,in the kingdom of SInkapura,there was a very very special little piglet.Like every other piglet,she stuff her face all day long in the pig trough all day long squealing like a stuck hog for more leftovers.She also enjoys just lazing about with her piggy brothers and sisters all day long in the mud.But one day,everything changes.This little tubby lardball was playing around in the garbage bin one day when she found herself a new toy.She found herself a wig with some rotting vegetables sticking out of it.After eating the vegetables,she decided to wear the wig,and started to admire her own reflection in the pond,thinking that she looks very fine and dandy indeed.

The pig in the wig decided to go around to show her friends in the animal farm her new look,and due to her extremely stupid brain,she was expecting appluase from other farm animals.To her extreme annoyance,not only didn't her friends the sheep,the horse,the rat,the donkey,the goose and the chicken clap their hands(They had no hands at all in the first place),they try to coax her out of her stupidity.They always knew their poor friend is both lazy and stupid,but being such nice animals,they always keep a look out for her,but of course she only rewarded them by gobbling their grub.The pig thinking that since she has a wig now,she looks just like a human being,so she wanted to go out of the farm,and go to the village square for shopping like the mistress does.

All her friend's advices fall on deaf ears,as the pig flee the farm on her extremely short stubby legs.On her way to the village square,she heard something that coincidently sounded just like a stuck hog again(due to the narrator being unable to find a better term for the tale) and what she saw was a female wild hog(boar) who got her head stucked in a drain while trying to eat the apples that roll down the drain.This stupid little pig in a wig,but ever so helpful,started to push and pull,tickle and lick,the wild hog out of the drain.

The wild hog,ever so gratful became instantly great friends with the pig in the wig.Since the wild hog was stupid enough to get her pretty little head stuck in a drain,we can assume that she is frankly speaking,just as stupid as the pig in a wig.Espcially when the whole floor is filled with apples,and she decided to go for the ones in the drain,emphasises on how damn stupid she is,and her stubborness is quite legendary too,to get her head in that far without pulling it out when she feels it getting too tight for her comfort.NOOOOOOOOO,she just want apples.

The two companions continued down their long route and on the way,they came across a malayan sun bear,and a kung fu monkey fighting over a round cheese.Hideous looking pig in the wig decided to help them solve the whole problem,but suggesting that the cake be divided into 4 pieces,so everyone can share a equal piece,which is very shrewd of her for once in her life(She is clever only when it comes to food).The kung fu monkey and the malayan sun bear agreed to her proposal,cause they are frankly kind of tired from such a long tedious battle,and they aren't that smart too,and they saw the pointed husks of the wild hog and her greedy little piggy eggs staring at the cheese,with drool dripping out,and a ugly little fat pig in a wig with decomposing smell is enough to make anybody feel sick enough not to eat cheese.

After consuming the meal in 3 secs,the two pigs and their new found companions were thinking about the next step to proceed,when the wild hog,the miserable little whiner started to complain about her empty tummy.The pig in a wig has a brillant suggestion!Why not let them go inside a human's house to eat the food,since she has a wig,she practically looked human!

"What an excellent suggestion!" all of her companions exclaimed in mock excitment just to get her to shut her trap(Except for the wild hog,who was really excited about food).It was at this moment,the goose who was teaching chicken how to fly,caught a glimpse of them heading in the direction of a random villager house,swoop down to warn them against doing anything really stupid.

But the stubborn pig in a wig said "if you are not with us,you are against us!You are just jealous that I look human.F@#$ off,you son of the b*%#@!".The goose knowing that his advices were futile,flew back home to tell the others to prepare 4 coffins,as he wanted them to have a decent burial at the very least.

The bear,the kung fu monkey,the hog,and the pig in the wig managed to sneak into the house,but their clumyness managed to wake up the owner of the house.Although we have 4 decent animals here that can do some sizable damage to a human being,the owner is conveniently for the purpose of this tale,a accomplised hunter with a loaded shotgun.All 4 animal died in a hail of shotgun pellets.The owner who very unfortunately being chinese,ate all the 4 pitifull creatures with gusto.

It was a sad end for the pig in the wig,but in the process,she drag 3 random animals with her,who if they were not eaten by the chinese hunter,would also die rather soon due to other predators.

The morale of the story,is that if you are a pig,and you wear a stupid wig,you are still going to be fried bacon in the very end.

The Tale of the Eagle that can't get to fly.

2008-01-27T04:39:00.000-08:00

There was once a flying contest in which all the birds were damn excited about.The winner of the contest is going to get a all-you-can-eat-buffet voucher at the ritzy new restaurant in town.Among all of them,there was this particular eagle that had just join the colony of birds.Relatively new,there was general mistrust among the other birds and him.There was however nothing wrong with the eagle at all,he is vegetarian,so he doesn't hunt other birds to eat,and he treats all the other birds in a civilised manner.

Well,every single bird decided to take part in the contest,including the eagle,who spend alot of effort training every single day,learning new aerobatic maneuvers,flying for long distances and gradually increasing his speed every single day.

However,on the day of the contest itself,the eagle,who was a very likely candidate to win the contest,wasn't even permitted to take part in it,due to the fact that most of the birds there wasn't really comfortable with him,as they never really bothered trying to know him at all.Yet ironically,they allowed the cuckoo bird who often destroy their eggs in order to lay her egg for them to keep,and allowed the bloody stupid parrot who does nothing all day long but utter nonsensical vulgarities in their face to take part in the contest.

The eagle wasn't even given the slightest chance,just because,he wasn't in the neighbourhood long enough,or he didn't know anyone there in the first place.

He is very much like a fetus who was aborted by his mother without even given the chance to live.

The Story of Seymour the Gay Frog

2008-01-25T05:49:00.000-08:00

This is the sorry tale of a frog named Seymour which is our lead character in this tale. Seymour was like every other frogs, he came from an egg with thousands
of his brothers and sisters, and spend life as a tapole trying to evade larger predators. Yet,even when he was just a little tapole, he knew he was a little different from his other brothers. When his other brothers were chasing after the girl tapoles everyday,Seymour found out that he is the happiest when swimming around with the pretty guppies,or sometimes,he enjoys nothing more than a good old game of tag with his brothers,chasing their butts.He would never play with the girls however.

Fast forward 2 months later,Seymour grew into a very strapping young male bullfrog indeed,but he was still the same gay prissy faggot inside.While his brothers and sisters were practising the good old fashioned mother nature's way of incestous relationships,Seymour was contended and busy playing with himself.

But today is a special day,today is the day Seymour got really high for the first time in his life.Like every other day,it was ordinary,it started with eating flies for Seymour,gossiping with his pretty guppies friends,and watching his brothers trying to impress his sisters.As you know bullfrogs could suck in alot of air,and make themselves swell really huge to impress the ladies,kinda like guys sucking in their tummies and puffing up their chests.

Seymour,since he never tried impressing girls,never tried making himself swell up before,so being very bored and so very gay,he decided to try to make himself swell up by blowing and inhaling the air,just like his bros.To his pleasant surprise,Seymour discovered he liked being swollen,and full of hot air.He decided to inhale and blow himself up more and more,and suddenly,he took in too much air,so he started to float into the air.

Seymour was never so excited since he caught a glimpse of his brothers taking a swim together,so he decided to get higher,and see a better view of the world.He keep on blowing and and blowing,getting higher and higher,but at this very moment,a bird flew past Seymour,who was bloated up like a balloon,and poke Seymour with his beak.Poor Seymour exploded.

The morale of the story is if you are gay,try not to make yourself too high, by blowing yourself too much,incase a bird come and poke you,and you will explode.

Pornography and YOU!

2008-01-19T06:35:00.000-08:00

After writting this article in my notepad,I was wondering if I should upload it due to the fear of its shock factor being too much for any random elderly people that come into my blog by accident,or any underage kids.( I am talking about you, Yi Teng )

Ah,but screw it,if you want you can stop reading now,if you continue reading it,I am not going to be responsible for any sore wrists or provide tiger balms to any gents or ladies reading this blog that got a stiff right arm due to something they did and you know and I know but we are not going to talk about it.

I suppose that most of the gents and perhaps ladies at one time or another have seen some porno before right?Be it accidently,for pleasure,or for artistic purposes,and for the sake of education.No matter what is your bloody reason,you probably have seen some porno in your life.Unless you are lying to me.Hell,even if you are gay,you probably viewed some gay porno before.

Personally,I think that porno is something good.Why?

1)It creates Jobs due to its industry.Camera crew,directors,actors and actresses,script writers,make up artists etc.Also shops have something to sell,there are plenty of shops that sell porno videos,not including the online sites,and the sex toys shops etc,the porno industry is a huge thriving buisness.

2)Source of entertainment for the masses,just like watching the movies,depraved army guys gathered around in camps watching a small porno on a psp/hp/ipod touch etc just gives you a feeling of warmth somewhere right?Isn't that just so sweet?It builds friendship,I have seen many friendships being forged that lasted years due to porno.It is remarkable.

3)It relives stress for everyone!Nothing like a porno after a hard day of work.It perks you up.It takes your worries away.And it gives you a healthy radiant glow at the end of the day.

However,bear in mind that too much of a good thing can be a bad thing.Below I have attached a few picture for warning you guys/ladies that of what may happen if you watched too much porno.

Watching too much porn eventually lead to something else,and doing too much of something else eventually lead to baldness and a slight retarded look. It is kind of sad really............

uhhhhhhhh..........I don't have to explain this picture right?

Obviously,too much male bonding sessions lead to something totally new for this two guys,who is going to turn gay any moment.

So people,with great power comes great responsibility,so be responsible k.

Words were taken from Ben Parker,Spiderman's dead uncle.

Wow,amazing crap.

2008-01-19T06:01:00.000-08:00

Your Brain is 73% Female, 27% Male

Your brain leans female

You think with your heart, not your head

Sweet and considerate, you are a giver

But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Ahhhhhhhhhhh,I am almost female in thinking.That is the biggest pile of hogwash I ever seen in my entire life.Afterall,all the people I have liked in the past,are all girls,and I think like a girl?

I have been dedicating my entire life to studying women and I haven even scratch the surface and I think like a girl? WOW!

Hopefully,with this new results to boost my self-confidence,I will be able to understand why girls love Bengs that much,and be able to find myself a hot looking cute guy in the very near future.

Poppycock,bullocks,crap to this test.

It is the most idiotic one I ever done in my short lifespan.

New Year Resolution

2008-01-11T20:54:00.000-08:00

This year,since it is such a screwed-up new year,I decided that I had to have a new resolution.This Year,I decided to embark on a project to become the manliest man alive.Why?Cause I had nothing better to write for a new post I think.

First we got to determine what factors that seperates a boy from a man.

1)Physical strength
2)Character
3)Attitude in life
4)His kindness
5)His ability to bake cookies in his feeble attempt to hookwink the readers that he is a Sensitive new age guy

This guy is a real man,if we can ignore the weird way he died in another girl's bed and rumour to have been killed by steriods misuse.

Super fit.Hard to achieve,but rather try my best to look abit like him,10% can liao,instead of looking like the other guy below.

"oooooohhhhh,get me some fried lard,I love fried lard!"

Also rather unhealthy to look like this dude

<<-------------------here But fat people are nice people,cause I am nice.

"What determines the worth of a man,is his will to get up,no matter how many times he have been knocked down to the mat"

"The reason why a man is strong,is not his physical strength,but the weight behind his fists,his passion,his dreams,and people he wants to protect"

So apparently from today onwards,I will go about my manly life by saving damsel in distress from flying cockroaches and thugs.Help old ladies cross the road etc etc.Hopefully by the end of this year,I won't make a resolution like "I won't bother with making stupid resolutions for next year"

And to my dear friend 'censored handsome young dude's name' ,do not give up hope yet,for your sister's sake.No matter what happens,you must know that your army friends always love and support you,so try your best.You won't die in your weight loss program,but if you do,I will give more "white gold".

Good luck become a man this year 'censored handsome young dude's name' .You have to protect your sister from the wolves with your new found physically fit body.Whack the crap out of em.

My dreams.

2008-01-10T05:52:00.000-08:00

What am I seeking in life? People have asked me this question for like the past 20+ years of my life。My answer is always the same, it is my dream to always be a gundam pilot. After I saw Gundam Wing, all I wanted to do was to pilot a giant mecha and go around fighting about gundams. In fact, it has been my wish to either see a Real gundam before I die, or to die piloting a Gundam. I would be dead, but at least I would be freaking cool when I am dead, I hope.

A huge Ka Boom and I will go to my 72 virgins in the sky. Oh crap, I just remember, I am no muslim, so I just self-destruct for nothing. Damn..............

The 2nd part of my dreams, after I become abit more self-aware of my surroundings, is to be able to find the perfect burger that gives me the so good "I died and went to heaven" kinda feeling. It is my dream to eat this burger. I am however painfully aware that just because it is huge,doesn't really mean that it is good to eat, and I probably can't finish the damn thing.. But I will die trying, with my face stuff full of beef. Why? The same reason why people climbed mountains for, cause the mountain is there.

p.s (most of those ppl that climb mountains are idiots, so am I)

But of all my dreams, I do have the most unrealistic dream which I left for the last one. That is to find true love. It is so unrealistic it is the biggest joke I ever posted on this blog!

Blog Update!

2008-01-10T05:43:00.001-08:00

Blog updated for Celine's sake.

Here babe, blog updated like I say it would be!

:)

Tormented by cookies

2008-01-06T08:32:00.000-08:00

+ inner demons

somehow I think I am screwed,for the wrong reasons.

I should kill myself if I wasn't so afraid of making a mess in my room and fear pain so much.

Memoirs of a Ah Beng Wannabe.

2008-01-03T19:42:00.000-08:00

When you were young, did you ever have a dream of what you want to be when you grow up? Perhaps you wanted to be a doctor, save some lives, a lawyer to earn megabucks. I was like every other kid; I wanted to be a Gundam pilot which isn’t really possible since Gundam isn’t even invented yet. Damn you Japanese anime for ruining my childhood dreams.

When I got older, and started to take notice of girls, it was quite amazing to me how some dudes managed to get a girlfriend with no other reasons beside him being a Beng. Why is it so amazing about that is because it is amazingly stupid, as the Bengs are not necessary very handsome (some are handsome ) In fact, it is rather safe to say that some of them only have a face a mother would love. Character wise, they are not necessary what you considered as great material too.

I monitored the situation for the past few years and came to this conclusion. That to get the girls of your dreams，you would have to become a Beng. Not that you go around looking for fights, but it is more of a style, a factor, a feeling that only an ah Beng can give.

I know that a lot of wonderful ladies will tend to disagree with me, in fact, all the ladies I asked for their opinions claims that they hate ah Bengs. However, at one point or another, they definitely like an ah Beng looking guy before. Why is that so? That is because since the beginning when god created women, Adam had been confused by Eve as Eve didn’t even know what she wants. Women just have a soft spot for a ah beng looking dude, who has an odor of bad boy or excitement around him. I don’t know. Women always seek a perfect man, but if you give them a perfect man, they would find him boring. To them, their man is like a jigsaw puzzle, it isn’t fun if it is complete.

And on my Ah Beng theory, it is also beneficial for normal guys to become a Beng for some very good reason. For example, there are two guys, A and B. A and B are totally the same in characters and they both are on the same level if you have to gauge their looks. However, B looks like a Beng in dressing style. And you know that girls hate Ah Bengs right? This is how it works out, imagine if both A and B are both gentlemen, helping a girl open doors etc. A girl wouldn’t be impressed with dude A as he is doing what a normal guy would have done, but if dude B did it, she would certainly be incredibly impressed as who would have expected a Beng to be such a gentleman, So in her eyes, the level of improvement of guy B raises much more than A.

However, nor everybody can be a Beng, it is only a few selected individuals that could become a real Beng, for others like me, no matter how we emulate the style of a Ah Beng, it will be a cold day in hell before we have any success.

Woe is me; my dream of being a Metrosexual Ah Beng won’t come true in this lifetime.

My gayest post to date.

2007-12-26T04:26:00.000-08:00

Ah,this xmas,I decided to start on my greatest cooking project to date.That is to bake some peanut butter cookies for my friends and family.Unfortunately,due to some technical errors,I wasn't able to produce enough cookies to give to everyone.

But have no fear people,after my intial batch of cookies went out to the guinea pigs,I will bake more batches in the near future to provide em to the masses.

The stuff I used are all pretty standard stuff,peanut butter,crushed pistacho nuts,butter,flour,baking soda,vanilla etc.

The peanut butter and the butter here ensures that the cookies will be loaded with healthy calories to bring you through your day!

Intially,the mixture looks alot like crap,alot of it being smashed up to a pulp.But thankfully,it looks a hell lot better later.

To be put in the fridge first.

The first batch of cookies in the oven.

The same batch of cookies as above.they look as black as a my mum's face when she discovered I skip tution to go play in the past.

With experience from the last batch,the new batch looks a hell lot better.

Looks darn pretty doesn't it?

I have to tell you guys that whoever get a stomachache from eating them,do not bother to try to sue me,I got no money for you anyway.If you didn't received any cookies from this batch,that doesn't mean that I don't like you,it is just that I wanted to make sure the cookies were safe before baking a new batch for you to consume em.

And for those that put on weight,please refer to those previous posts below,I hope they help.

Food Review - Cookies

2007-12-16T20:51:00.000-08:00

Ah,time for another review by me.Today review will be about chocolate chip cookies,which I love and hate at the same time.Love it for the taste,hate it for perhaps its calories,but who gives a damn anyway about getting fat if you see the jar of delicious crumbly cookies?

Firstly,lets talk about the presentation of the cookies.They were kept in a transparent bottle with a vivid red ribbon round it.This picture you see,the ribbon is tied by me after I stole from the cookie jar,so be assured when the jar was first presented,it was totally different.It looks like 10 times better.And it is important to note that I am clumsy and have failed art all the time.

Tastewise,the cookies were fantastic,they were so good that I resented sharing it with others.But no choice,since I am a good man.....bor pian.Look closely at the picture I took with my lousy camera phone.You can see the chocolate chips and the edge of the cookie is browned to the right colour.The texture in your mouth is great.It crumbles,dissolves,but still mantain a crunch to it.The taste of the cookies were buttery,sweet,and combo with the choco chips in them,gave me a "Oh my god,I died and went to heaven" kinda feeling.The aftertaste after the cookie is long gone still make us smack our lips in anticipation for the next cookie.

The passion of the chef slaving over the baking pan almost bring tears to my eyes.( abit exaggerated here )Infact the cookies were so great,I stole the rest of em home for my own consumption.

Presentation : 5/5

Taste : 5/5

Price : Priceless

Overall, the cookies should get 5/5,but as nothing is perfect,I am giving it only a 4.75/5 as the biggest problem with it is that you can't get enough of it.They leave you desiring more cookies.

Ah,so dear ladies and gentlemen,I guess many of you are already wondering where can you get such excellent cookies.Unfortunately,they were handmade and only a few selected individuals were lucky enough to consume it.

Kudos to the chef.They were divinely good

Random stuff that pop into my head

2007-12-14T23:09:00.000-08:00

Random stuff 1

Sometimes when taking a bus or mrt, you see pregnant ladies or old folks, if is rather fucked up to see everyone looking away or pretending to sleep. And the men in uniform, do not necessary give the seats to those that required it the most also. Just get your fugging ass away and give up your seats, you are only a single person, she is two person.

1 < 2 <---- So if you used to pretend to be sleeping, time for a wake up call.

Randome stuff 2

I was lucky or unlucky enough to stop 2 women from being beaten up by their husband/bf on two seperate occasions.

In the first situation, I was downstairs at the right moment to stop a drunk man continue using his gf head as a drum stick on her car. I become a police witness for her.

In the 2nd situation, I went downstairs to stop the abuse of a woman by her husband. I stay on the 12th storey, and they stay on the 2nd. It is obvious how bad it was.

In both situations, there are a couple of similarities. I was the only one there and was threatened with physical body harm. And as I narrate what happened to my friends, they stated that they would not have done what I did, and I was both stupid, rash, and busybody. I guess they were right about that.

But I still have to explain myself here. Imagine that it wasn't a woman being abused by her spouse, instead, she was being raped/robbed etc by some son of the bitch. You want that on my conscience for the rest of my life? Which guy that walks away from something that you have the ability to stop, I don't think much of you.

What if it is your mum/gf/spouse being robbed or worse at the moment? Would you wish that a busybody would be there to stop it? Think people, think. If you really can't do anything about it, at least call the cops.

I don't know, maybe I am just a naive righteous prick that sees the world through rose-tinted glasses.

The grand experiment

2007-12-14T12:11:00.000-08:00

Ah,due to extreme boredom, I decided on an experiment.

If 500 crunches a day will get you the abs you desire in 10 days. I have been eating considerablely lesser for the past 2 days, and each day I did 500 crunches.

Till now, all I am getting is hunger pangs and a pain in my abs whenever I cough. Hopefully, I can endure and survive this 10 days of hell. Freak, if the experiment fails, this mean that I am screwed.

If target is achieved, I will celebrate by eating chocolates. If I fail miserablely, I will console myself by having some sympathy chocolates.

day 1 : feel like crap.
day 2: feel like crap * 2
day 3: feel like crap * 3 plus wondering if I gonna survive the next 7 days.
day 4: feel like crap * 4 + working on this day + fever = 3 hit combo almost ko me

How to lose weight for dummies?

2007-12-13T16:54:00.000-08:00

Ah, recently, a bunch of my friends both male and female are complaining that they are too fat, and need to lose some weight. Inspired by theｍ, I will now
write about weight loss in my blog, hoping that ladies and gentlemen, you guys can achieve your desired targets. Ah the irony of it all, weight loss in a
food blog.

Well peeps who have know me from the past, will always remember me as this bubbly superbly chubby cute bespectacled young guy. Well, now that I have grown up,
I still am the same guy, but trying to change the chubby to fit. Throughout my life, I tested many of the weight loss on myself (not all), the ever-so-unwilling
Guinea pig, and for the first time ever, the public and my friends can view em for their own pleasure!

1)Be a hero (or heroine), extract 4 wisdom tooth at the same time. Every morning , you will be full, as the blood flow from the sugery will seep to your
throat. Disgusting iron copper taste of your own decomposing blood turns you off from a normal meal. Anyway, even if you want to eat, it is damn hard.

Good for around 5kg or so.

2)Weight-loss pills, sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. But one thing I can confirm with you all, it is gonna burn a freaking hole in your pockets
and it ain't healthy at all. You get irritated and pissed off with others, and you may get constipation and cannot pang sai.

Good for a few kgs, but mostly water fats. I seriously recommend not to use this method at all. Totally.

3)The aktins diet. Eat more meat and vegetables, and skip the carbs. This method in my opinion totally suck ass. It screws your mood up, and eating meat all
day long can't be good for your Pang Sai routine. check for bad breath also. Instead, I recommend you to eat less rice, not totally skip it and go for
grained breads instead of the normal white ones.

Good for a couple of kgs I guess.

4)The amputation method. Cut off your arm, or leg.

Good for maybe 10 kgs?

5)The best and the last method of all. 4 words. "Eat less, exercise more". It is that simple. You don't have to rely on any miracle drug or something. Just
eat less, exercise more. Drink 8 cups of plain water a day. This method is the simpliest, yet still the hardest. Cause it depends on how much you want to
do it. You can tell yourself you want to get 6 pack, yet for the past few months, you did no crunches at all. I also want to strike toto every weekend.
Go out don't drink soft drinks, drink green tea or plain water.
And if you don't suck at cooking, trying making your own stuff to eat. You can control how much oil and the stuff you eat etc.

Good for ____ kgs. (fill in the blanks yourselves)

Are you Polar Bear enough?

If you don't want to look like a polar bear, you got to set out to achieve your goals.

Gay lord mok with eyes censored

But, that aside, a great man, Mok, once told me this "If you don't gain weight,how will you lose weight?". When he said this to me, I was so impressed with
his words that it became my righteous path in keeping fit and eating happily at the same time. Thus.....I still eat chocolates. But I don't eat tibits lar.

Pretty lady who loves to crap
(chio bu is dun pang sai one - courtesy from hardwarezone forums)

Also, inspired by another great lady Laura, it is wise to Pang Sai at least 2 or 3 times per day. Pang Sai is good! Eat more fruits! And vegetables for fibre. Constipation away, and move with the flow!

Disclaimer : Yadda yadda, if you die or suffer any emotional or physical damages using my methods, this disclaimer is to tell you. it isn't my fault you are dumb or suay, so paiseh lor.

Last but not least, no Gaylords, pretty girls, or polar bear were harmed in the name of research for this blog.

51 old airport road Fried kway teow

2007-11-21T20:27:00.000-08:00

Yesterday night, I headed out to this hawker center 51 old airport road to try out the Fried kway teow that it is renowned for. I saw two different stores selling what I am seeking, and both stores have newspaper reports on them.

Been always willing to sacrifice my waistline for the benefit of the readers and accompanied by a few brave souls, we decided to order from both stores, Lao fu zi kway teow and Lucky cooked food.

Nothing much to be commented on the service since we are the only customers at that time.

Since the one from lao fu zi came first, it is only fair to judge it first too.

The lime adds a rather unique favour to the familar dish of Fried kway teow and more than one of my buddies detect some alchol in the dish, which honestly speaking,I can't taste at all. But I do find this dish rather excellent and among the two, would be my preference.

Taste wise : 4/5

Value for money: 3/5 ($3)

RTF (return to food): 4/5

This Fried kway teow is from lucky cooked food, and to be perfectly honest with you, it is slightly sweet and have a slightly burned smell to it, but that doesn't mean that it is bad. A couple of my buddies compared it to Baw kua and really like this compared to Lao fu zi.

But screw em, since this is my blog and I am doing the reviews.

Taste wise : 3/5
Value for money: 3/5 ($3)
RTF (return to food): 3/5

Ahhh, but for all our efforts, we were rewarded with a gem in the end. Still feeling slightly peckish, I spied a dessert store and went to order the peanut Ice kachang and was pleasantly surprised by the generous amount of toppings I received. It could be that I am the last customer of that day or that the uncle like nubile strapping young dudes like us.

The Ice kachang is wonderfull, you have to eat it to describe it. It envelops your whole mouth with sweetness and the snow ice literally dissolves in your mouth. Very light, very tasty.

Thumbs up to that uncle.

Taste wise : 4.5/5

Value for money: 5/5 ($1.80

RTF (return to food): 4/5

Teach you peeps how to guage my review scoring system.

1 points: Taste like F*ck

2 points: Taste like crap

3 points: Okay lor, nothing unusual

4 points: Sell your soul for this

5 points: If you are required to suck Micheal Jackson's nose for this dish, just suck it.

My Wants List

2007-11-20T17:33:00.000-08:00

Just like every single female blogger out there that is greedy, I am also a guy that want some stuff in my life. If you ever felt that you have too much moolah in your pocket and would like to assist me, you are welcome to give me a call or send me an email.

On my top 10 wants list

1)sony bravia LCD TV
2)sony Playstation 3
3)A osim massaging Chair, those 3k ones.

1 to 3 comes together as I want to sit on the chair, and play ps3 on my LCD TV. Thanks, so generous people can buy all 3 at once, or get together and cup your cash together and buy me those stuff.

4)A freaking Car liscense
5)A car i guess

4 and 5 goes together too. No need to explain right?

6)A brand new oven
7)A trip to makan at Morton's Steak house
8)A trip to makan at the MELT Buffet at oriental hotel
9) chocolates, lots of them is good for health I think

6 to 9 is my passion, so no comments here ha.

10)Sunshine empire to go down

For choice 10, it is abit personal, as sunshine empire turn a great guy I considered as a friend to a greedy money hungry bastard who would to scam what little cash I have. May the founders James Plang the cocked-eye guy and Jackie hoo CHEAT whose name really have a cheat in it, break their legs and get 2nd degree burns on their groin area.